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by Rev. Fr. V.V. Paulose, Toronto, Canada
"Jesus' mother stood besides his cross." (John 19:25)
Could you reckon with a death in the ventilator
without your dear ones besides you?
Barring loved ones besides you is the most unbearable death in this world. Most
of the deaths now take place in the ventilator of the hospitals with the
presence of all the life supporting machines instead of loved ones . Death beds
outside the hospitals are not any different if nobody is around them with love.
If we pass from this world with the feelings that there is nobody there at your
side when you needed them the most, it is an unpardonable crime of the humanity
as a whole. So it is the moral duty of the medical care givers and the human
beings, at large, to give quality loved presence, support, and care to the
people at their last moments on this earth. A dignified peaceful death with the
presence of the loved ones is the birth right of all human beings. It would make
a big difference to our loved ones if we are there with love at the last stage
of their life. This is especially so in case of people who are abandoned by the
society in name of sickness like AIDS. Neither our work nor any responsibilities
in any job or position excuses us from caring for our loved ones in their
distress and death. What can we do today to show our love to our fellow beings
who are in the death beds? Simply be there with love as often as you can.
Sister Dolores, who is with the AIDS patients says, "There is a lot of fear at
the beginning for those who come to us with AIDS. It is hard for them to cope up
with the fact that they are going to die. But being there with us and seeing us
with others in their last moments makes a big difference. I remember in New York
that the mother of a man from Puerto Rico offered to nurse him if he came home.
He thanked her but said he would remain with us, though he would visit her. One
day he told me, 'I know when I am dying you will be there holding my hand,'
because he had seen us doing it with others and knew that he wouldn’t die
alone." It’s quite simple really. The dying are moved by the love they receive
and it may be just a touch of my hand, or a glass of water, or providing them
with some kind of sweet they desire. They know some one cares for them - and
that, in itself, is a great help to them. Because of this they believe that God
must be even kinder, more generous, and so their souls are lifted up to God. As
we don’t preach, we just do what we do with love, they are touched by God’s
grace."
"When Jacob had finished giving these instructions to his sons, he lay down on
his bed and died." (Genesis 49:33)
Let you be with us in days of our last moments on this earth. Let not anybody die with the feelings of loneliness and unlovingness. Let your spirit of compassion and love lead us to give quality love and presence to those who are in the deathbed without anybody to care and love. All we ask in the name of Jesus. Amen.
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