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by: Ruth Purple
The family is the basic unit of society and every care should be taken to
preserve it by the state, church and the family itself. However, if counseling
and reconciliation cannot solve the conflict within the family, divorce maybe
seen as the best solution. To couples with kids however the situation is much
more complex as compared to childless couples.
Divorce can be devastating to the children and may leave a long-lasting scar
that may affect their being useful citizens of the community. During the divorce
process, the offspring’s will go through emotional conflicts. Anger is
prevalent. Anger at the present condition, anger towards their parents,
themselves and some may feel that they are to at fault for the separation.
Feelings of sadness, misery and loss are felt because there will be changes in
where they will live. They will lose the other parent, their friends, their
school, people and circumstances that stabilize their daily lives. They will
feel rejection. Studies have shown that boys and girls are affected differently
and respond in various manners.
Boys are more rowdy because they have to show and act out their inner feelings.
They go on fights, they are defiant. They cause disturbances and would not be
still even for a short period of time. They are the ones who will turn to drugs
and alcohol. They girls on the other hand suffer inwardly and become introverts.
They are apprehensive and miserable. Thus they turn to untimely relationships or
sexual promiscuity that may lead to early pregnancy or early marriage. Thus if
not guided accordingly these children tend to stop school and will waste
themselves into substance abuse. They will become citizens with emotional and
mental illnesses, criminals or discards of society.
To save the children, the parents should have the obligation to guide their
children through the divorce process and for a period after that until their
emotional conflicts have been resolved. They should subdue their own emotion
turmoil and together try to show the same affection and devotion for the
children.
Explain to the kids to make them understand why the parents have to go on their
separate ways. They have to be assured that they are in secured hands despite
the changes in the family set-up. During the divorce proceedings, the couple
should be civil with each other because this will also have a bearing in
alleviating the negative feelings of the children.
It will slowly enfold in their understanding that they are undergoing a process
and a change but they will still have their both parents. After the divorce has
been finalized, visitation of non-custodial parent should be encouraged and made
a positive experience to everyone. The children can then accept the situation
gradually and will cope with the changes in their lives.
On the other hand, the non-custodial parent is also encouraged to have a hand in
the affairs of the child and will be a constant partner in guiding the growth of
the children. Divorce however does not generally leave negative reaction from
children. In families where there are constant conflicts, physical and verbal
abuse, the children themselves will welcome the situation that their parents
will be separating.
They will be relieved by the daily stress and problems undergone by their
parents. It is the children of the families that are not at odds or fight with
each other that are mostly overwhelmed by the situation.
8
Basic Types of Child Custody
Several child custody options are established in a family court. It is important
for a parent to know their difference, as well as the every type of custody to
fully practice their parenting right during a trial in a family court.
The Effect of Divorce on
Children
A blended family introduces a number of issues including family system
disruption, reduced resources, step family member conflict and the parental
conflict.
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About the Author:
The author of this article, Ruth Purple , is a Relationship and Dating Expert. Conquer Infidelity and Experience a Happier Love Life through her New eBook.
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