Perhaps Rev. Fr. Mathew Karuthalackal of St. Mary's Jacobite Church, Chicago said it best during the church day celebrations of St. Mary's Church in Chicago: "You really should appreciate doctor aunty. Here is a Board Certified Psychiatrist, who wraps a bib around her sari and then works in church: cooking, serving, cleaning, etc. She is worth emulating." Frankly till achen said that, I did not pay much attention to all the activities Shila did in the church. Very often she will be seeing patients till 3 PM or go to hospital to see in-patients and then rush home and do all the cooking before achen comes. In many instances, she ends up staying up all night cooking for the church service on the following day.

Shila deserves the full credit for raising our daughter and son to where they are today. Although there were no Orthodox Churches in the places they studied, we encouraged them to attend regular church services every Sunday in any church available. Shila had a major role and influence in the spiritual development of our children from their childhood. She has been a model wife, mother and spiritual mentor in our family.

Yes, mothers are very special. They fill in several roles. They adapt to the needs of their children. God picks them for doing special tasks.

I had been reading Stormie Omartian's book, 'The Power of a Praying Wife.' The foreword to this book was written by her husband Michael. He begins it with:

There is a joke in our household when I refer to the number of years Stormie and I have been married. I always say, "It's been twenty-five wonderful years for me and twenty-five miserable years for her."

After twenty-five years of marriage to Stormie, there aren't any phases of my complex personality left for her to discover. She has seen me triumph, fail, struggle, be fearful and depressed, and doubt my competency as a husband, father, and musician. She has seen me angry at God because He wouldn't jump when I asked Him to. She has witnessed miracles, as God redeemed something from the ashes to gold.

Every step of the way has been accompanied by her prayers. I cannot imagine what my life would be without her praying for me. It gives me comfort and security, and also fulfills the mission the Lord has for us to pray for each other and bear one another's burdens."

When I read this passage, I was surprised how perfectly it described the relationship between Shila and me, 'pray for each other and bear one another's burdens'. I am sure this also describes the relationship of most of the couples in our church. Shila never misses a day without praying for all. In fact, after we got married, we spent the first week (of two weeks I had left before returning to the US) going for spiritual pilgrimages to all of our important churches such as Parumala, Manarcad, Kothamangalam, Mulanthuruthy, and Parur. In the US, newlyweds may go to Niagara Falls or Hawaii for their honeymoon; in Kerala, a traditional Syriac Christian couple may, instead, go to our churches for blessings in lieu of a honeymoon. Is there any wonder why our marriages last (until death do us part) as all these saints are keeping an eye on us?

I am sure there are several such unsung heroes like Shila in our church. So, on behalf of all of them, I hereby dedicate this issue of Malankara World Journal to Shila on her birthday.

by Dr. Jacob Mathew, Managing Editor, Malankara World

'The Role of Women in Syriac Orthodox Church' is a subject that is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. We read a portion of St. Paul's writing out of context and feel that it is how the church treats women. Is it true?

This was the question we want answered when we started working on a special edition of Malankara World Journal on women. As we delved into this issue further, it was clear that people's belief system is based on what they have experienced and, not necessarily based on the church's position on it. The individual priest or bishop may have their own ideas of how this "should be" as opposed to how the teaching of the church is. Very often, it is cultural prejudices that are behind the ill treatment of women, not what the Bible advocates.

Orthodox church gives a very exalted position to women. The most respected person born of a human being is St. Mary who is respected as Theotokos, the Mother of God. St. Mary has the highest position in Orthodox Church below the Trinity. Everyone else, including all the saints fall below Theotokos. When God wanted the assistance of a human being to execute his plan for the redemption of mankind, He selected St. Mary for this critical task. Similarly, when the first person Jesus appeared to after His resurrection was to a female, Mary Magdalene, not a man. These examples show that God placed an important role for women. Orthodox Church, in turn, places an important position to women.

Orthodox theologians say that protestant churches find it hard to grasp the importance placed by Orthodox Church for women because of the way they (the protestant church) looks at St. Mary. They consider Mary was just a person who was "used" by God for giving the human form to Jesus; she was "released" after Jesus became an adult. She continued normal wedded life with Joseph and had other children. So, she was not given any more importance than anyone else. Of course, Orthodox Church do not agree to this view.

The article by the HH Patriarch Ignatius Zakka I Iwas describes the important position given to women in Syriac Orthodox Church.

Pope John Paul II explained the importance of St. Mary and the role of women in Catholic church, thus:

"The fact that God chose a woman, the Virgin Mary, to play such an important role in the world's salvation leaves little doubt about the God-given dignity of women."

The pope continued explaining the Catholic Church's position of women,

"Both men and women were created in God's image and likeness with equal dignity.

Women have been subjugated because human beings are sinful. The situations in which the woman remains disadvantaged or discriminated against by the fact of being a woman are the continuing consequences of sin."

One question asked by the protestant faithful about why Orthodox Church and Catholic church do not allow women to be ordained as priests. They say this clearly shows the discrimination against women. I saw a good answer to that question from the Eastern Orthodox Catholic faith:

"The reason women can't be priests goes to the establishment of the sacrament of Holy Orders. Because Christ established the sacrament, no pope, council, or bishop can change it. Eastern Orthodox Catholics don't ordain women for the very same reason. It has nothing to do with who's more worthy or suitable for Holy Orders in the same way that the ban on non-Catholics receiving Holy Communion has nothing to do with any moral or spiritual judgment on the persons involved. It has to do with Sacred Tradition, which is considered as divinely inspired as Sacred Scripture."

This was best described by Beth Hanson:

'God created all of reality; thus all reality reveals something about Him. God did not make a mistake when He, through the very physical nature of female and male, created family and gave women the position of motherhood. Christ also had a specific intention when he chose 12 men to be his apostles and continue his priesthood. It wasn't just a cultural consequence; practically all pagan religions of Christ's time had priestesses.

Women's purpose and vocation in the Church is further revealed in the structure of family, the Trinity and in the Blessed Mother. In the same way that a family functions in different roles, father and mother, man and wife, so the Church also functions. In Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he compares the submission and absolute love between man and wife to the dying of Christ to achieve the holiness of the Church. Everyone in the Church then mirrors the image of woman.

Yes, the Church possesses a hierarchical structure, but this structure is ordered entirely for the holiness of all its members. Similarly, the Trinity reveals to us how the different and distinct roles of Father, Son and Holy Spirit perpetuate selfless love.

Finally, Mary, the mother of God and the first disciple, gives us a further understanding of what it is to be woman; through her submissive and humble "yes" came the incarnation of Christ, the Church and thus spiritual salvation.

In not ordaining women priests, the Church isn't limiting women; it's fulfilling them through honoring and encouraging the unique gifts that God has given them.'

Beth Hanson, 'The Role of Women in the Catholic Church'

by Moran Mor Ignatius Zakka-I Iwas
The Patriarch of the Apostolic See of Antioch & All the East
The Supreme Head of the Universal Syrian Orthodox Church

The image of God in man is also the image of mind and conscience, the power of creativity and dominance over other creatures. God endowed man with this power when He created him as holy, granting him dominance over the living creatures. Man was one, "male and female He created them" and dominance was granted to both of them, but when they both sinned they lost the grace of holiness. Jesus Christ, however, redeemed us by His atoning death, restoring the image of holiness equally to both men and women. God Almighty spoke equally of men and women in the Old Testament, saying in the fifth Commandment: "Honor thy father and thy mother" (Ex. 20:12) and in the Book of Proverbs, Solomon said: "My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thy heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goes, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou wakest, it shall talk with thee" (Prov. 6:20).

Although the Virgin Mary restored the early status of Eve, which she had lost after her fall, she never obtained the grace of priesthood. She ranked, however, high above prophets, clergy, martyrs, confessors, apostles and evangelists; for she was the one who informed the Apostles of what had happened to her since Gabriel's annunciation of the divine conception. The Virgin Mary was the first to evangelize the Good News of Christ and to believe in His divine power. We consider her to be above the prophets. She prophesied about herself, saying: "From henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. For He that is mighty hath done to me great things; and holy is His Name. And His mercy is on them that fear Him from generation to generation" (Lk. 1:48-50).

At this point we are undoubtedly bound to mention women believers who used to serve in the palaces of kings, great men, chiefs and noblemen; and to preach the Holy Gospel in word and indeed, especially through raising children and living a life of righteousness. Through these women, the Holy Gospel spread powerfully and gradually the way leaven produces fermentation in dough.

So peacefully, the Holy Gospel broke into strongholds of misleading and misled paganism and those of Judaism which perverted God's laws. Hence multitudes of both faiths believed in the Holy Gospel during the very early days of Christianity.

We, as a church, who have adhered to the Holy Gospel and the ecclesiastic and apostolic tradition, shall have to admit that God has bequeathed on some women the gifts of sublime spiritual leadership, which were clearly manifested in their lives throughout the ages.

It goes without saying that the history of the Syriac Orthodox Church abounds with the lives of such women. In the Syriac Church women enjoy great dignity due to the active role they have played in their service of the Church.

We respect and honor Empress Theodora and bless her because she offered comfort to her spiritual fathers, the highly esteemed pontiffs of the Church, whom she highly respected and served at difficult and crucial times when the Byzantine Government used to persecute, displace, exile and kill them. The toll of this persecution was thousands of martyrs. Those who survived persecutions went through agonies and Theodora used to comfort and protect them. However, she could never bring this persecution, launched against them by Byzantium, to an end without paying a dear price.

It was Theodora who was behind sending a mission to illuminate Ethiopia with the light of the Holy Gospel. And we shall never forget the nuns who took vows of celibacy, chastity, voluntary poverty and obedience, dedicating themselves to the service of the Holy Gospel throughout the ages.

It is clear that St. Ephrem's establishment of a choir of young virgins exalted the status of women and has practically proved that when St. Paul wrote in his First Epistle to the Corinthians (14:34) "Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak", he did so solely as a temporary organizational measure, not a doctrine of faith that should never be amended or changed, in order to prevent talkative women from prattling at a time others wished to pray piously before the Divine Glory.

St. Ephrem is doubtlessly considered a pioneer in having started a choir in Christianity. He attested that women like men have an equal right to praise God in public prayer. St. Paul, however, spoke of men and women as equals in the self-same Epistle to the Corinthians, saying: "Nevertheless, neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord" (I Cor 11:11).

The influence of St. Ephrem is clear in his education of women in Edessa by helping them understand the teachings of the of the Holy Gospel, adhere to Christian doctrine and endure persecution courageously for the sake of faith. All this is manifested in the incident of the woman from Edessa during the persecution launched by Wallis the Arian at the end of the fourth century, precisely in the year 373. Wallis had appointed an Arian bishop in Edessa, but this prelate was rejected by the faithful who consequently began to pray outside the city.

One early Sunday morning all the faithful flocked to the outskirts of the city where soldiers started arresting them and throwing them into prisons. The governor of the city met one of the faithful while she was running to join the others, carrying her newborn baby. The governor stood in her way and stopped her, reminding her of the authorities' orders and the severe punishment awaiting whoever might violate these orders. She expressed her willingness to endure agony for the sake of adhering to the Christian doctrine of faith. He went on and asked her: "We have come to know that you have left the door of your house wide open and you are running so fast carrying your newborn too. Why have you done this?" To which she answered: "As for the house, I am sure I am not returning to it. Concerning my newborn, it is because of my great love for him that I want him to share with me the honor of martyrdom and to be joyfully with me in paradise, thus saving him from the condemnation which is the result of your perversity.

Another reason for such a practice might be the fear of falling in sin as a result of having the two sexes within the sanctuary, especially as pagan priestesses used to sell their bodies with the aim of raising money for their pagan temple.

Allocation of two separate places in the church for men and women, separated by a wooden partition, was an established practice inherited from church tradition. Reference to this practice can be inferred from one of the Homilies of John Chrysostom (+407). The impact of this practice was apparent in some of our ancient churches.

St. Jacob of Sarug (+521), the saintly scholar of our Church, justifies the non-admittance of women to the sanctuary in one of his verses (memres) in which he says through the mouth of Adam in teaching his children:, I would not send weeded wheat (2) as an offering to the Lord with the hands of Eve lest she might offer it to her advisor (Satan); and I shall never give sacrifice to the Lord because I am not pure; for never shall the expelled priest have the right to do that. The foot that headed willingly towards the tree of life shall have no right to tread the site dedicated to pontiffs (and priests), and the hand that picked the forbidden fruit in Eden shall have no right to flutter over the Divine Eucharist."

Even though the Church has prevented women from entering the sanctuary, it has allowed the wife of the priest, who was consecrated as a presbytera (Qashishto), and the widow, who was consecrated as a deaconess, to enter the sanctuary occasionally in the event of the absence of a priest or a deacon or any male.

In the event a widow consecrated as a deaconess remarries, she shall be excommunicated together with the one who marries her. Certain canon laws limit the age of the widow candidate to be consecrated as a deaconess to forty years; whereas other canons do not recommend the consecration of a deaconess before the age of sixty.

St. Severios the Great (+538) states that in the sixth century the ordination of abbesses as deaconesses was in practice in the Orient (under the jurisdiction of the Antiochean See). In the event of the unavailability of a priest or a deacon, each one of those consecrated was entitled to distribute Holy Communion to the sisters who were under their authority. They do not, however, do this service in the case of the presence of either one. The deaconess wears a stole (uroro) hanging down from the shoulder in the manner of an archdeacon. In the event of the unavailability of a priest or a deacon in the convent, a deaconess is entitled to enter the sanctuary (Beth Qudsheh), provided that she is not having her menstrual period and that she is only with her sisters where she may give them the Communion. She may not do so for males, even to little boys who are five years of age or older.

When a consecrated deaconess burns incense, she may not recite the special prayer usually recited by the priest, but inwardly recites the prayer of repentance.

She may, after obtaining permission from the bishop, mix wine and water in the chalice; and in the event of her illness, she may allow one of the sisters to enter the sanctuary in order to clean it and light the sanctuary candles.

A deaconess shall never be blamed if she reads the Holy Scriptures, even the Holy Gospel, in a public gathering of sisters on holy days.

According to the teachings of Jacob of Edessa (+708), " The deaconess may never enter the sanctuary except to clean it or light candles. In the event of unavailability of a priest or a deacon in the convent, she may take the Communion, which is usually placed in the Beth Qurbono, a recess usually made in the eastern wall behind the altar. She may not, however, come close to the altar. She may also give Communion to the sisters and only to little boys below the age of five. She may help the priest in the celebration of the sacrament of Baptism of mature women by anointing them with holy chrism and may visit sick women."

Prayers center upon the parable of the virgins (Mt 25:1-13), as well as the parable of the invitation to the banquet, obliging people to enter the house of the host and share in the meal (Mt 22: 1-14). The bishop then commands that the curtain be drawn to hide the one to be consecrated. Meanwhile, she takes off her bracelets and her outer garments and wears a wide blue skirt, hanging down from the waist to the toes, and puts on a black girdle. She is also dressed in a black or blue coat hanging over her shoulders. Afterwards, the bishop holds a black scarf upon which he makes a triple sign of the cross, tightly on her head like a cap while reciting the following prayer: "May the Lord protect you and shield you with His divine right hand, saving you from the temptations of the soul and body so you may obtain His bliss for ever. Amen."

Later someone reads a chapter from the Book of Acts about Peter restoring life to Tabitha (Act 9:36-42), and a selection from the Epistle of St. Paul to the Colossians (3:12-17) commencing with: "Put on therefore, as the elect of God, and beloved, bowls of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long suffering, forbearing one another, and forgiving one another as Christ forgave you."

Then the bishop reads Chapter ten of the Gospel of Luke, starting from verse 38 up to 42 about Martha and Mary where the Lord says to Martha: "Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful; and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" (Lk 10:41-42).

At this point, the bishop makes the sign of the cross on her forehead three times, saying: "(Name of consecrated) shall be sealed, stamped and perfected, that is consecrated as an actual presbytera for the service of the children of the Holy Church. Afterwards, the archdeacon says in a loud voice: (Barekhmor) which means "Bless, O Lord" to which the bishop adds, saying: "In the Name of the Father +", and the deacon responds, saying: "Amen." The bishop continues, saying: "and of the Son +" to which the deacon responds, saying: "Amen." Then the bishop says: "and of the Holy Spirit forever." The deacon then responds, saying: "Amen."

Afterwards, the bishop reads a silent prayer of thanksgiving and then recites a prayer for the consecrated presbytera publicly, followed by the prayer of "Oh Lord, have mercy on us" and the Lord's Prayer.

We gather from the procedures of the rite of consecration, canon laws and the powers granted to the one to be consecrated as a presbytera that the consecration of a presbytera is neither an ordination nor an office but a mere consecration appointment and dedication.

We do not know for certain the date of the discontinuance of this rite of consecration. Although we now call the wife of every priest (Bath Qyomo), meaning a daughter of the covenant, the same name is given solely to the consecrated individual.

It is noteworthy to mention here that nowadays the wife of the priest, though not consecrated, can help her husband with the baptism of adult females if any.

There is a possibility of having a second thought about church tradition in relation to the rights and duties of those called deaconesses or presbyteraes in terms of the services they offer to women and little children, and in relation to cleaning the sanctuary and lighting candles. In this age, those activities that might take place in the church when needed and may add to the enrichment of souls and to the progress and prosperity of the Church.

Women have become physicians, lawyers, judges, engineers, teachers and members of Parliament, and in the Church Council of Trustees as well as being members in charitable societies. They are choir singers and Sunday school teachers. In all these endeavors, women are equal to men in rights, duties and dignity.

References:

(1). Biography of St. Ephrem, the Syrian by the author. Damascus, 1984.

(2). Bleelo which means weeded wheat connoting the Holy Eucharist (consecrated bread) is misspelt in Syriac as Kleelo.

Source: Speech delivered by His Holiness Patriarch Ignatius Zakka I Iwas at St. Ephrem Monastery in Saydnaya at the conclusion of the meeting of Orthodox women held in Damascus from October 4-10, 1996, under the theme of Discerning the Signs of the Time and published in the Patriarchal Magazine, Nos. 157, 158, 159 of September, October and November 1996.

There are over one hundred sixty women mentioned in the Bible. Although not all of their names were written down, their deeds were, thus showing us the part they, too, played in history. If we were asked to name women who played a role in Bible history, again, we would probably repeat many of the same names. Sarah. Ruth. Mary. Elizabeth. Mary Magdalene. But here we will look at a select few that are less well known to many of us, but were important figures in Biblical events.

In an Old Testament filled with rebuke towards women for being superstitious and wishy-washy, we find Deborah given a place of honor. She was a ruler, a judge of the Israelite people, a prophetess and a poet (Judges 4 & 5). Deborah led an army of 10,000 troops into battle along with a man named Barak. Even though she prophesied that the Lord would deliver the enemy up, Barak refused to go unless she went with him. Deborah's answer can be found in Judges 4:9 "And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the LORD shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh."

This prophecy by Deborah brings us to our next important woman. Jael. It was Jael that Deborah was referring to in her prophecy. Although Deborah and the Israelite troops defeated Sisera's troops, he, himself escaped. As he was fleeing, Jael approached him and convinced him to hide in her tent. While Sisera was sleeping, Jael took a tent peg and a hammer and drove it through his temple into the ground. It was the bravery of Deborah along with the boldness and craftiness of Jael that led the Israelites to overcome the Canaanites and have peace in the land for forty years (Judges 5:31).

Rahab was a prostitute in Jericho when the Israelites were getting ready to invade the land. She had heard the stories of how the Israelites' God had delivered them out of Egypt, and of the things that happened to the people who opposed Israel. Rahab thought of her survival, and when the Israelite spies came to her door she hid them from her own king. She made a deal with them. She would hide them and help them escape Jericho in exchange for her life and the lives of her family. The deal was made and so was history. The Israelites did invade Jericho and Rahab and her family were spared.

The significance of Rahab's courage lies not only with the fact that the Israelites were able to invade Jericho, but the fact that her life was spared and she goes on to become part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. In the genealogy listing of Jesus (Matthew 1) only four women are actually named, one of which was Rahab.

It is important to look at women in the New Testament also. All through the New Testament we see women with important roles in aiding the spread of Christianity. It was women who were first given the word that Jesus was risen from the dead (Luke 24: 1-12). An industrious business woman, Lydia, is recorded as the first convert to Christianity in Europe (Acts 16:14) and opened her home up to the apostle Paul.

Tabitha was an extremely kind woman who knew no limits with her acts of kindness and charity (Acts 9:36). When she died, those who loved her heard Jesus' disciple Peter was near and sent for him. Peter sent everyone out of the room and took Tabitha's hand and raised her from the dead. What is so impressive about Tabitha? The brief mention of her exemplary life. She was a woman sorely missed by all which is why Peter was sent for in the first place, and it was her being raised from the dead that led many people to Christianity.

All through the New Testament women are credited with helping the disciples and apostles. Paul takes care to always mention Priscilla, wife of Aquila, who risked her life for his (Romans 16:9). Even though many women are mentioned only briefly, and some are not even given a name, like the poor widow who gave all that she had (Mark 12: 41-44), just the brief account we are given of them gives us a great deal of insight. Do you think the poor widow knew she was being watched, only to be immortalized forever in the greatest book of all time?

The actions of these women teach us what character really is, and how the toughest, or even simplest decisions made everyday could possibly change the world.

by Gregg Cantelmo

The most striking thing about the role of women in the life and teaching of Jesus is the simple fact that they are there. 31 He ministered to women and treated each one as a person. 32

With great insight Dorothy Sayers said about Jesus: "They [women] had never known a man like this Man - there never has been such another. A prophet and teacher who never nagged at them, never flattered or coaxed or patronized…who took their questions and arguments seriously; who never mapped out their sphere for the, never urged them to be feminine or jeered at them for being female; who had no axe to grind and no uneasy male dignity to defend; who took them as he found them and was completely unself-conscious." 33 Both in his teaching and in his activities, Jesus reached out to women as persons who were equally worthy as men in his saving activity.

We see in the gospels that Jesus treated women with incredible respect. A classic passage in this regard is Jesus' interaction with the Samaritan woman. 34 This is a remarkable exchange, since Jesus was not only interacting with a Samaritan, a member of a race that was despised by Jews, 35 but also a woman. And Jesus' conversation with this woman is probably the most profound discussion of theology in the gospels. Women were not encouraged to have interaction with male strangers. 36

But Jesus went beyond the cultural ethnic and gender barriers and treated her as a person who was worth his offer of the living water of eternal life. 37 He didn't treat her in reference to what others said about her, her accomplishments or possessions, and he didn't deal with her based on her appearance. He establishes through this woman that whoever accepts his offer of living water, that person will receive it. The woman saw the barrier as ethnic, 38 whereas the disciples returned and made an issue of gender. 39 But for Jesus, gender and ethnicity are irrelevant in his offer of salvation.

She comes to the well at noonday, the hottest hour of the day, which whispers a rumor of her reputation. The other women come at dusk, a cooler, more comfortable hour. They come not only to draw water, but to take off their veils and slip out from under the thumb of a male-dominated society. They come for companionship, to talk, to laugh, and to barter gossip - much of which centers around this woman. So shunned by these women, she braves the sun's scorn. Accusing thoughts are her only companions as she ponders the futile road her life has traveled. She's looked for love in all the wrong places, going from one dead-end relationship to another. For her, marriage has been a retreating mirage. Again and again she has returned to the matrimonial well, hoping to draw from it something to quench her thirst for love and happiness. But again and again, she has left that well disappointed.

And so, under the weight of such thoughts she comes to Jacob's well, her empty water jar a telling symbol of her life. As her eyes meet the Savior's, he sees within her a cavernous aching, a cistern in her soul that will forever remain empty unless he fills it. And there she meets Jesus. 40

This encounter shows to all women that regardless of past mistakes, hurts, pain, and failures Jesus wants to fill women with his love because women are people intrinsically whom he values. Every woman is created in his image, a daughter of Eve, and he offers the greatest ministry ever; cleansing, forgiveness, hope, meaning, significance, and a life of power and purpose.

During another encounter with a woman, Jesus made a radical statement of value to the hypocritical religious leaders that were standing around. Luke recounts a narrative in which, in a synagogue one Sabbath, Jesus heals a woman crippled for eighteen years by a demonic spirit. 41 The head of the synagogue protests Jesus' performance of a healing on the Sabbath, but neither the woman's presence in the synagogue nor her subsequent praise of God in response to her cure evokes any comment. Jesus showed his regard for her by calling her a "daughter of Abraham," a term which is paralleled to Zacchaeus, who later will be called a "son of Abraham." 42 Both are God's chosen people and heirs of the promises to Abraham, so both equally deserve the spiritual status and salvation guaranteed Abraham's descendants. As Jesus offered salvation and healing to the people, women were equally worthy of his full-orbed ministry.

It has already been expressed that as people we have a need to belong, to feel worthy and to feel competent. 43 Observe how these needs are satisfied in the manner in which Jesus dealt with women in the New Testament. 44

1. Jesus Appreciated Women's Spiritual Capabilities

He engaged in spiritual conversation. He talked to women about God, reality, and issues that count for eternity. To the woman at the well Jesus gives the most profound discourse in Scripture on the subject of worship. That God is spirit and that worship is not an approach of the body to a church, but an approach of the soul to the spirit of God. That was a cutting revelation to one who has lived so much of her life in the realm of the physical rather than the spiritual. In their spiritual conversation this stranger (Jesus) was first simply "a Jew"…then "Sir"…then "a prophet." Finally she sees him for who he really is - "Messiah." And in that moment of spiritual perception, she lives to tell his good news to the city that has both shared her and shunned her.

When Jesus was teaching about discipleship Matthew recalls, "And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, he said, "Behold, my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father who is in heaven, he is my brother and sister and mother." 45 Women are here included as disciples. Obedience to the will of the Father was the hallmark of Jesus' disciples, whatever the gender. Women are granted the status of being active full-fledged followers of Christ. 46

In the Judaism of Jesus' day, discipleship was oriented toward acquiring particular skills in the religious arena and therefore was primarily restricted to men. 47 But Jesus' form of discipleship is instead oriented toward transformation of the person's life to be like him.

We also see Jesus' appreciation of women's spiritual capabilities in that it was a women (Mary Magdalene) who was first to receive news of His resurrection and then she was given the honored position of telling the disciples. 48 She is a woman who was once possessed by demons and at the empty tomb she finds herself in the presence of angels. She is despondent and she tells them the reason for her tears. Then, from behind, another voice reaches out to her. Maybe the morning is foggy; maybe tears blur her eyes. Maybe Jesus is the last person she expects to see. Whatever the case, she doesn't recognize him. That is, until he says, "Mary!" She blinks away the tears and can hardly believe her eyes. She had been there when he suffered at the cross; now he is there when she is suffering. She had stood by him in his darkest hour; now he is standing by her in hers. He had seen her tears; now he is there to wipe them all away. 49

Jesus interrupts the embrace to send her on a great commission - to tell the disciples the good news. In his triumph, Jesus could have paraded through the streets of Jerusalem. He could have knocked on Pilate's door. He could have confronted the high priest. But the first person our resurrected lord appears to is a woman without hope and he gives her a ministry.

2. Jesus Appreciated Women's Intellectual Capabilities.

While there were conflicting attitudes about the education of women among the rabbis, 50 there was no confusion with Jesus. We've already seen Him instructing the woman at the well about spiritual truth. Not only did Jesus talk with women, he also taught them. She was the first person to whom he revealed he was the Messiah.

As Jesus and the Twelve disciples were traveling, they were invited into the home of Mary and Martha. While Martha was busy with the preparations for the guests, Mary was "listening to the Lord's word, seated at his feet." 51 Three times in Scripture, when we observe Mary (sister of Martha and Lazarus) she is sitting at the feet of Jesus. 52 This is the traditional posture of a learner, a student, and a disciple. 53 What is of critical importance is the fact that Jesus would be willing to sit in conversation with women in such a manner, or that he might have instructed them privately as a rabbi might instruct a promising student. Jesus valued her enough to teach her and her physical posture reflects the posture of her heart -- humble, reverent, and teachable -- all the qualities of a good disciple. What Martha was cooking in the kitchen will be gone in a meal, but what's being prepared in the other room with Mary is eternal and will go on forever. 54 Jesus doesn't want food, he wants fellowship. Jesus desires that all believers think, grow, learn and He is an equal opportunity teacher to both men and women. It is interesting to observe that often in his teaching Jesus would use a pairing of men and women and of illustrations from both a man's world and a woman's world to communicate the truth being taught. 55

3. Jesus Appreciated Women's Abilities to Serve.

Women participated in the ministry of Jesus, accompanying him in his travels. Luke mentions a number of women by name that were part of the entourage which followed Jesus. 56 On a number of occasions they gave public testimony to Jesus' ministry. A woman who needed healing from a bleeding hemorrhage touched his garment and was healed, and Jesus paid attention to her and Scripture says, "…she came trembling and fell down before him, and declared in the presence of all the people the why she had touched him and how she had been immediately healed." 57

In Luke 7:36-50 and John 12:1-11 Jesus was anointed by women which means he received worship and adoration from them. There is no greater service to Jesus than worship,58 and they served him through their worship.

We see Jesus appreciate one woman's act of service at the end of a weeklong prelude to His last Passover. He had road into town to the crowd singing hosanna and everything had gone downhill from there. After a lot of confrontation, Jesus was able to lose himself in the holiday crowd and he finds a quiet place on a bench opposite the temple treasury. For a change, all eyes are not on him. Instead, they are on the 12 trumpet-shaped coffers where people are filing by to deposit their offerings. Standing among them is a woman who is a widow. 59 There is a place for widows in the ancient Jewish world, but it is not a place of importance, like the priest's. It is not a place of influence, like the merchant's. It is a place with orphans and transients. 60 A dependent place with little income and barely surviving. The place she's at now is the treasury, where she's standing in line with the little she has left palmed in her hand; two copper coins. The smallest offering the temple allowed. And there she waits, quietly, patiently, until it is her time to give.

Jesus sees her standing there and he waves over his disciples so they can see her, too. The coins in her hand are so small and thin that when she drops them in the coffers, they don't even clink. Heaven heard the sound, but on earth it fell on deaf ears…even the disciples, but this day Jesus makes sure they hear. And 2000 years later the service of this poor widow is still being talked about in lessons, lectures and literature. 61 What a remarkable thing! Jesus stopped and noticed this act of service. He took such pleasure in so small a gesture. She served by giving. All that she had she gave. Her gift may not have meant a lot to the ministry of the temple, but it meant a lot to God. That is why the Savior, on his way to the costliest of sacrifices, stopped to honor this woman's sacrificial act of service.

Whenever ministry is spoken of in the New Testament as being rendered directly to Jesus, it is the ministry of either angels or women. In the earthly life of Jesus we see women who glorified Jesus through their domestic responsibilities with which they ministered to him. 62 The key word in "ministry" is "service." And again Jesus is the supreme example. Jesus' entire redemptive purpose for coming to earth is encapsulated in Mark 10:45, "For even the Son of man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."

The question we began with was, "How does Jesus minister to women?" The answer is, "really good!" He came to serve. We see his service to women through talk, through teaching, through touch, and through thankful praise for their faith. As we all have a need to belong, feel worthy, and feel competent, we see that Jesus brings dignity, value, and worth to women and their roles of service as "daughters of God."

by Metropolitan Seraphim of Johannesburg and Pretoria

First and foremost, women must accept Christ as their own Lord and Savior. Women who acknowledges Christ, through baptism, accept the mandate of Christ's love. She partakes in the Liturgical Life of the church. Though Holy Communion our Lord enters the soul of a woman and she becomes part of Him. She is instructed to listen to Holy Scriptures and to apply their Teachings in her daily life. She must become the light of the world, enlightening those allowed her, through good example, in the Christian way of life. She devotes her self out of love, to the service of Christ in all aspects of her personal, family and community life. Most of all, she puts on her love for Christ through her fellow man, and brings to God all those within her own family.

Her first priority is to fulfil God's Divine Within her own family, her husband and her children. This then widens to the extended family: to her neighbour, to her parish community and then to the whole world. A Christian woman is today's society, whether she works outside the home or not, is instrumental in nurturing her children. Even if she is not yet married, or has not chosen the way, a woman often serves in the society in the capacity of helping others, as a teacher, as a nurse, as doctor, as a wife, as a mother. As a wife, she cares for her husband and her children. She brings a reality of church into her home and guides her home to the church. Within her heart she understands the meaning.

by Fr. Jerry Kurian Kodiattu, Malankara World Board Member

Human beings do several things to belong and to get a sense of belonging. They get together, love, help and become one to sense this belonging. The creation event was an event when God in the wonderful commune of the trinity reached out to human beings to create community. This belongingness started with the creation of man and woman. The sense of belongingness continues in how creation was planned and executed. The incompleteness in the creation of man was sensed and woman was thus created so that community was formed and will continue through them. The church celebrates the creation story as the beginning of man and woman on earth. The story of Adam and Eve continues to bring forth the formation and creation of community on earth. Keeping this in mind, one should look at the changes that have happened.

by Christiane Zidek, Researcher in Religions, Bangalore

A Sunday morning, she hurriedly pulls her shawl or the end of her sari over her head. Then, she enters the church. There, she takes her place among the large crowd of other women worshippers. Women attendance as in all churches is higher than male attendance. Therefore, on the side reserved for women the space is always more cramped. Covered and confined she stands.

I cannot help but finding this a striking reflection of the actual role of women in the church. Though their attendance is always good, their active participation is rather limited.

God is beyond male and female. The incarnation as the male figure Jesus is random. Jesus need not be turned into a woman. But that the actual interaction with God has to go through a male channel exclusively feels alienating. All religious rituals to enact the relationship between God and human beings are officiated by men only. A woman is left at the steps of the altar, depending on men to access God. Always kept a step away from God!

Of course, for the common worshipper, male or female, the participation in Qurbana, as such, is not different. But the difference shows in the perspective altogether. Every baptism is a reminder of this distinction. While the baby boy is taken up to kiss the corners of the altar, again a baby girl remains at the entrance of the altar. For men potentially the way to the altar is open.

As a small consolation, it is refreshing to see women taking active part in choir singing in many churches. Therefore, at least they engage in a supporting role in the act of worship. Another instance of a sense of women taking an active lead in their worship is the time of prayers for intercession by St. Mary. Not that the actual lead has shifted from the altar but there seems a sense of a different self understanding of women in this part of worship. The reminder that in this part of worship St. Mary and not God is the addressee of pleas is left here just as an annotation and food for further thought.

So far the focus was on matters of worship. Though those definitely call for discussion and reflection, it is admissible to say that they involve the need for discourse on theology and tradition. Therefore, this could require an extensive process in order to reach a revised practice. Though this is a burning issue, which concerns at least 50% of the church, take your time. But do not take this as an excuse to leave things at the status quo for eternity.

And anyway, there is no theological reason for priests to reprimand women at occasions of weddings etc. on covering their heads. Women are women, but adults. Treating them like school children denies women the dignity of being an equal part in God's creation and society.

More than that, the life of a congregation beyond Qurbana definitely does not come under the sphere of theological matters of ecclesiology. Yet, the picture, which is seen during worship, just continues in every other aspect of congregational life as well. Women are seen in Sunday School teaching. But the majority of church committees and other decision making bodies consists of men. If there is called for any meeting involving decisions to be taken, there is only male presentation apart from a few token appearances of women. At a time, when women take active part in all areas of society, it is very disturbing to know that with all probability even a senior (female) leader of a company with expertise in different areas would not get any space in her church unlike a similarly positioned male church member. It is not only injustice to women but also a waste of resources.

Having touched on several aspects of women's role in the church, a question arises: Why? Why do these different areas of church life remain unchanged? It is a question, which both men and women have to be asked. Do men see the church as the last exclusive male bastion in society and therefore cling to it? Do men remain in comfortable indifference? Have women given up trying to change the church? Have they agreed on all other spheres of public life except church in societal negotiations?

Ammai was a very loving and dedicated wife and mother. She kept a spotless house. She cooked every day, each meal flavored with extra love. She spent hours each day taking care of her home, washing the clothes for her children to wear, cooking family meals, and attending to various other household duties as well as taking time to form character in her children. While homemaking took up much of her time, Ammai found ways to express her creativity in sewing, weaving, and a variety of other hobbies. Though her husband amply provided for her family, to supply for their increasing needs, Ammai had an entrepreneurial spirit, often turning her creative energy into extra income. She was creative, bright, energetic, kind, spiritual, persistent, funny, and gracious.

From the earliest days she would take my Dad and three brothers and sister along with her own boys behind her to church and Sunday School. She let them know that they always had a friend in Jesus. They learned that no matter what, however bad the situation they were facing, they should never be too proud to look to God, humble themselves and to seek His face. She always pointed her children to goodness, kindness, humility, caring and compassion. At the same time she also suggested how to get along with people who didn't have their interest at heart.

As her family grew into young adulthood, her role began to change. After she saw her children married and was no longer a mother of a young family herself, she poured her life into her grandchildren. In her old age she became "valiammai" a beloved character who has a smile and a pleasant word for everybody. It seems to me that her sweet and graceful manners would disarm envy itself and conciliate even enemies. Though the daughter-in-laws may not get along well with each other, they all competed to be her favorite one. She remained as their counselor, confidante, friend and treasurer. She was their guide and spiritual compass. She directed them to the things that she thought mattered most, and tried to steer them away from hurt, harm and danger.

She visited each one of her son's house on a regular basis. However, never caught gossiping. During each visit she took herself a project and magically succeeded in getting the support of the rest of the household in working towards it and bringing it to completion. The projects could be as small as finishing up the tasks after the harvest to constructing a shed for the animals. If there is a wedding plan in progress she was a constant presence in that particular house busy in preparing sweets and snacks for the anticipated guests. Through her love, fortitude and dedication, she not only kept the family together but was the foundation for a lineage that continues to create good natured humans. She was the magnet and center that kept her extended family strongly connected. She was the epitome of generosity and loving care for all whose lives she has touched. She did things her way, not for the recognition or other considerations but because it was the right thing to do. She was a role model "mom" not only to her family, but to the friends of her children.

I wonder if she missed any single advice from St. Paul (Titus 2:3-6):

"Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited." Titus 2:3-6

Ammai had a quiet, uncomplaining endurance, persevering and remaining diligent in her quest to support her family. While it isn't always easy to persevere, the results of such diligence can be seen, as demonstrated in the life of this great mother. My Dad and his siblings had a sincere and eternal gratitude for dear ammai. I think she triumphed over any hardship because of her courage, intelligence and determination to do the right and humane thing. She had immense energy, selflessness, moral authority, intelligent mind and patient heart. She never missed any Opportunities to give and serve. She helped so many people even when she didn't have much herself. She was truly a human spirit, walked in the Light of God's purpose to help, motivate, inspire, encourage. The characteristic that makes her an "Unsung Hero", however, was her patience. She richly deserved of her contributions being acknowledged and of her praises being SUNG!

We enjoy beautiful things in life. Much time and attention goes into creating a lovely garden - first faithfully feeding and tilling and watering it in the cool early-morning stillness. As the garden grows the gardener has to begin a painstaking routine of cutting away unruly growth, pruning off unnecessary shoots and removing dead blossoms. There are pleasant tasks and bright moments but there is also plain old hard work - when we fulfill them sincerely we earn God's blessings. People enjoy the beauty in our life, our family and our heart when we work in the same diligent and deliberate way of such a gardener. A wife and mother who loves her family is a lady who prays, plans, prepares, pleases, protects and positively responds. When a wife and mother take her assignment from God seriously, He blesses her obedience, submission and hard work and the resulting growth is astounding. The effect of such special blessings last for generations. The off-springs from such families become the trophies that are credited to a simple lady and the award ceremony goes eternal.

In marriage and in the church God has assigned man with the responsibility of reflecting the headship of Jesus Christ over the church. To the woman God has assigned the role of demonstrating the submission of the church to her Head, Jesus Christ. Godly women like my beloved ammai, makes vital contribution to the kingdom of Christ on earth. They do so with steadfast prayer (Acts 1:14), doing good works and almsdeeds (Acts 9:36), showing hospitality (Acts 12:12; 16:14; 1 Timothy 5:10), teaching the word in harmony with divine authority (Acts 18:26; Titus 2:3, 4), being good wives (Proverbs 31:10-31), rearing godly children (2 Timothy 1:5; 3:14, 15), and accomplishing various other commendable tasks.

These were the same reasons for which early church valued the contributions of ladies, thanked for their services and commended them highly. There was Tabitha, who was raised from the dead by Peter, concerning whom we read that she "was full of good works and almsdeeds," Acts 9:36. The first convert of the Apostle Paul at Philippi was Lydia, the seller of purple. Paul remembered the unfeigned faith of young Timothy, which dwelt first in his grand-mother Lois and in his mother Eunice. From these godly women, Timothy had first learned the Scriptures, II Tim. 1:1-5. Priscilla, along with her husband Aquila, was of great help to the Apostle Paul in his missionary labors.

Christianity is all about service and unconditional love. With her life, our Ammai, our hero, taught us this valuable lesson.

by Mother Magdalena, Orthodox Monastery of the Transfiguration, Ellwood City, PA

A frequent question we hear is "Why do we need the Church?" People want to know why they must go to a particular church, attend services they may not understand, obey rules that feel constricting to their lifestyle, and spend time with others they do not know or want to know. They say it is enough to talk to God in their own way, where and when they are in the mood to do so. They have lost the vision that our Lord's purpose for incarnating as a human being was not simply to establish places to gather for rituals and coffee hour.

"Church" is far more than buildings, rites and rules.

Why do we need church? - so that we can know, experience and live within God, here on earth as well as in eternity. How can we possibly make such an incredible claim? On the one hand this life with God is difficult to describe in words, in the same way it is difficult to explain falling in love. On the other hand, Scripture is very clear that knowing God is precisely what He has in mind - and to know God is to live in Him. He created each and every one of us deliberately, on purpose, for the sole aim of living with us and in us throughout all of eternity.

This teaching is found throughout the entire Scripture. The Old Testament is one long story of God searching for His people - because they were always running away from Him by falling back into idolatry. When He actually came to dwell among us in the flesh, knowing Christ was not a question for the Apostles. They were blessed to actually experience the God-man with their five senses. St. John describes this most clearly: "That which we have looked upon and touched with our hands…that which we have seen and heard we proclaim also to you" (1 Jn.1:3).

However, the strongest language in Scripture about knowing Jesus as both God and man comes directly from our Lord Himself. He says such words as these: "I am the good shepherd. I know my own and My own know Me" (Jn. 10:9). "Abide in Me, and I in you" (Jn.15:4). "And this is eternal life, that they know You the only true God, and Jesus Christ Whom You have sent" (Jn. 17:3).

How do we come to know Jesus? He Himself tells us that He will send His Holy Spirit to teach us all we need to know, including how to pray to Him. And the Spirit will not only reveal Jesus to us but will actually live within us: "the Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; you know Him, for He dwells with you, and will be in you" (Jn. 14:17). This teaching about knowing God is not just for early Christians, an opportunity somehow not fully available in our own time. St. Silouan, who reposed just seventy years ago, witnesses to this:

"The Father so loves us that He gave us His Son: but such was the will of the Son, too, and He became incarnate and lived among us on earth. And the holy Apostles and a multitude of people beheld the Lord in the flesh, but not all knew Him as the Lord; yet it has been given to me, a poor sinner, through the Holy Spirit to know that Jesus Christ is Lord…the soul suddenly sees the Lord, and knows that it is He…The Lord in His boundless mercy accorded this grace to me, a sinner, that others might come to know God and turn to Him…The Lord is my witness" (St. Silouan of Mt. Athos, SVS Press, 1999).

When our Lord chose to create us, He gave us everything to make us His own, worthy of eternal life with Him. He grafted us into His very Body, which on earth is manifested as the Church. Elder Porphyrios says, "With the worship of God you live in Paradise. If you know and love Christ, you live in Paradise...The Church is paradise on earth, exactly the same as paradise in heaven" (Wounded by Love, D. Harvey Publisher, 2000, p.90).

When we look at the Church on earth we sometimes only see buildings, lots of rules that are not always comfortable, and some pretty high expectations in terms of our behavior and the choices we make in life. The Church seeks to get involved in our lives in all sorts of ways - we are expected to go to services, fast, give alms, read Scripture, receive the sacraments, and pray regularly at home and in all places. The Church tells us how to behave, how to dress, how to relate to each other and the world around us. This can all start to feel pretty heavy and constricting. This sense of burden was not God's intention! Everything concerning the Church has one purpose and one purpose only: to bring us into closer communion with our Lord, to prepare us for eternity. This is where knowing God and living in His Church comes together. Fr. Zacharias, a priest-monk from England, describes it this way:

"When man responds to [the] love [of Christ], he realizes that he is, above all, a worshipping being. The grace of God which has touched his heart enables him to perceive the image of God, Who is the true pattern of his life, Who ignites within him the desire to live once more according to the original purpose of his creation. Grace initiates this change in him, but in order for this grace to bear fruit, he must live as a member of the worshipping Body that is the Church, the Church being the assembly of the saints through whom God speaks and in whom He is reflected. Our common membership unites us to our brethren who continuously stand before God, and this allows us to test ourselves safely, for the saints have themselves travelled the road to purification. And as members of the worshipping Body of the Church, we participate in the divine purity...Our purification does not happen mechanically...The human will must labor together with the grace of God" (The Hidden Man of the Heart, Mt. Thabor Publishing, 2008, p.125).

The Church is not just an earthly institution that seeks to control us by rules and limit our worship to stale rites. It is a living, breathing being - literally the Body of Christ. This means that our life in Christ can only be lived within the life of the Church - His Body. All aspects of this life nurture and form and protect our spirit. The boundaries set by the Church are not there to restrict us but to give us freedom. Within these walls, our spirits can soar. When we stay within the embrace of our mother the Church, we can know that we are with our Lord. We can fully open ourselves to Christ's love, to the blossoming of our spiritual lives in limitless joy and peace.

About The Author:

Mother Magdalena is with the Orthodox Monastery of the Transfiguration in Ellwood City, PA. The monastery is founded by a Romanian princess turned nun! She became the founder of the Monastery under the name Mother Alexandria.

Mother Magdalena
Orthodox Monastery of the Transfiguration
321 Monastery Lane
Ellwood City, PA 16117
724-758-4002
http://www.tkinter.smig.net/PrincessIleana/Monastery/Brochure/index.htm

by Jonathan Parnell

Our hunger for God will not be confined to our closets. As we know him and delight in all that he is for us in Jesus, our joy in him reaches beyond personal experience on a quest to be reproduced in others. One of the simplest ways we realize this is by taking serious how we pray - by wanting and asking for others the same things we want and ask for ourselves.

It is a beautiful thing - a miracle - when we become as invested in the sanctification of others as we are in our own. And, of course, the best place to start is with our spouses.

So men, here are ten things to want from God (and ask from him) for your wife:

1. God, be her God - her all-satisfying treasure and all. Make her jealous for your exclusive supremacy over all her affections (Psalm 73:24–25).

2. Increase her faith - give her a rock-solid confidence that your incomparable power is only always wielded for her absolute good in Christ (Romans 8:28–30).

3. Intensify her joy - a joy in you that abandons all to the riches of your grace in Jesus and that says firmly, clearly, gladly: "I'll go anywhere and do anything if you are there" (Exodus 33:14–15).

4. Soften her heart - rescue her from cynicism and make her tender to your presence in the most complicated details of dirty diapers and a multitude of other needs you've called her to meet (Hebrews 1:3).

5. Make her cherish your church - build relationships into her life that challenge and encourage her to walk in step with the truth of the gospel, and cause her to love corporate gatherings, the Lord's Table, and the everyday life of the body (Mark 3:35).

6. Give her wisdom - make her see dimensions of reality that I would overlook and accompany her vision with a gentle, quiet spirit that feels safe and celebrated (1 Peter 3:4).

7. Sustain her health - continue to speak your gift of health and keep us from presumption; it is by blood-bought grace (Psalm 139:14).

8. Multiply her influence - encourage and deepen the impact she has on our children. Give her sweet glimpses of it. Pour her out in love for our neighbors and spark creative ways to engage them for Jesus' sake (John 12:24).

9. Make her hear your voice - to read the Bible and accept it as it really is, your word... your very word to her where she lives, full of grace and power and everything she needs pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3).

10. Overcome her with Jesus - that she is united to him, that she is a new creature in him, that she is your daughter in him. . . No longer in Adam and dead to sin; now in Christ and alive to you, forever (Romans 6:11).

And then a thousand other things. Amen.

About The Author:

Jonathan Parnell is a content strategist at Desiring God. He lives in the Twin Cities with his wife, Melissa, and their three children: Elizabeth, Hannah, and Micah.

by Sharon Glasgow

"Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come."
Proverbs 31:25 (KJV)

My heart sank as she told me the tragic end to her love story. When she and her husband married, they couldn't afford a nice honeymoon. Kids came and the money to do something special together just never seemed to be there. Her husband worked all the time, so for years she dreamed and planned for the trip she longed for with him - the perfect honeymoon.

When their last child was leaving for college, they finally set up their honeymoon trip. But something awful happened right before they were ready to leave. Her husband was tragically killed in a car accident. Her dreams were shattered.

With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I stood by her feeling helpless to offer the right words. All I could say was, "I'm so sorry."

Her story affected me deeply. Although my husband was still alive, I didn't have the honeymoon of my dreams either. On our wedding night we stayed at a state park. For years I too dreamed of the day I would have a "real" honeymoon. After hearing her story, I changed my thinking and made a new plan.

I didn't want to pin my hopes on a fancy trip. On that day I decided to live every day as if it were my honeymoon.

Rather than a honeymoon trip, I wanted a honeymoon life.

Hearing her story made me worry. What if my husband died too? What if I didn't have the chance to show him how important he was to me every day?

I went before the Lord and committed, "My husband is Yours. I don't know how long my days will be with him. But, I trust You to teach me how to spend our time wisely. I trust You that when our days are done, I will have no regrets. Teach me now how to be a lover of You first. And by loving You, I will know how to love my husband fully every day, especially when the days are hard, the storms rage, and the sun sets at the close of our life."

On that day the Lord gave me a peace that flooded my entire being. A scripture from the Bible came to my mind after I prayed. It was Proverbs 31:25, "Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come."

I knew God was telling me to not be afraid of what tomorrow might bring. He would give me the strength to live the honeymoon life successfully. That truth helped me rejoice at my future knowing that I would live married life to the fullest.

Just a few weeks later my husband and I celebrated our anniversary. We couldn't afford a special trip, but that didn't discourage me. This was the start of a new way of looking at my marriage ... of celebrating a honeymoon life every day. I packed a simple picnic of his favorite foods and the two of us enjoyed it, and each other, in the middle of our field.

No trip around the world, no lavish hotel, nor any gourmet dish could have competed with that field, the picnic dinner, and the way God changed my perspective.

From that day on, I chose the honeymoon life. Not just dreaming of it but living it every day. I've set my heart to cherish the simple things, like making my husband's favorite foods and eating together by candlelight, going to bed at the same time, reading and praying together. Even mundane trips to the store together.

We've been living the honeymoon life for 16 years now and have been married for 31. With God's help, I've been able to see every day as an opportunity to love my husband in a special way. We may never go on that honeymoon trip, but I'll take a picnic in a field with the one I love any day.

Dear Lord, give me the ability to live the honeymoon life with my husband. Help me to stop focusing on the what if's of the future and to start focusing on loving to the fullest today. Help me not to have any regrets of how I've lived out my married life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Reflect and Respond:

It isn't anniversary trips, diamonds or flowers that make our marriage. It's how we live married life every day that makes it romantic and priceless.

What are some things you could do for your husband that would jumpstart the honeymoon life today?

Power Verses:

Proverbs 31:10-11, "Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." (NKJV)

Hebrews 10:24, "And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works." (NKJV)

by Dr. Stephen Felker

Scripture: Ephesians 5:25-33

Introduction

I believe that marriages should last for a lifetime, and get better and better every year. We should find significant personal fulfillment in our marriages. But so often, marriage falls short of meeting expectations. And I believe there are several reasons for that. One is that the marriage relationship was complicated by the curse associated with the fall of Man into sin. The curse announced by God in Genesis stated that there would be conflicting desires, with the woman wanting to rule over the man, and the man usually having the power to rule over the woman, as history has demonstrated. Man would be forced to work long, hard hours to make a living. Working long hours will put stress on any marriage.

And then Satan has always been attacking the home. He knows that if he can destroy our homes, he can do much spiritual damage to the next generation. And so he has been offering men and women alternatives to God's original plan such as cohabitation, adultery, homosexuality, polygamy, incest, and so forth.

And society has corrupt teachings about the home and the marriage relationship. Such teaching of the so-called experts is constantly changing and adapting. And it keeps changing because nothing that they suggest ever works for long.

And what really makes the marriage relationship difficult is the basic self-centered nature of man. It's difficult to maintain a good, lasting relationship with a person when you are selfish instead of loving.

So as you can see, a lasting, good marriage is not going to just happen. There is too much working against it. And so you have to work on your marriage relationship. A lasting, good marriage does not depend simply upon finding Mr. or Mrs. Right, but by being Mr. or Mrs. Right by living right according to God's teaching on marriage & the home.

This morning I want to talk mainly with the husbands and future husbands that are here today. I want to talk with you about the greatest thing you can do to make your relationship with your wife a lasting and joyful relationship. In fact, I want to tell you how to have a happy wife! Paul has much more to say in this passage to the men than he does to the ladies. That is because the husband is the key to a good home life. If you do your part, your wife will usually respond in a positive way, and you will most likely have a good marriage.

So husbands, what is your responsibility in the marriage relationship? First of all:

I. YOU SHOULD OBEY THE MOST IMPORTANT COMMAND FOR HUSBANDS

Pastor Ed Young was speaking to a 32-year old single woman. He started talking to her about her hopes regarding marriage. Then he asked, "What are some of the characteristics you'd like to find in this person who will be your mate?" Her first answer was, "I want someone who loves me." [Young, 10]. So we should not be surprised that the most important command given to husbands is found in v.25, "Husbands, love your wives." This is a command. To fail here is not only a sin against your wife, it is a sin against God. I would also point out that in v.33 Paul makes sure that this command to love applies to each and every husband. He says, "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself…." No one is exempt, regardless of who you are married to. Both husband and wife are commanded to love each other, but it should be pointed out that while the wife is commanded to love her husband (philadros) once in the New Testament (Tit. 2:4), the husband is commanded to love his wife at least 3 times here in this passage, as well as one more time in Col. 3:19. Perhaps one reason that men need this command more than women do is because women seem to have a greater natural inclination to love. But besides that, why would Paul make this command the most important command for husbands to follow?

A. Love is Her Most Basic Personal Need

Christian psychologists tell us that the two most important psychological needs we all have is to be secure in knowing that we are loved, and to have a sense of significance, to feel our lives are worthwhile. Which of the two is most important to the average woman? It is to be loved. Now we all know that historically, men have been the main providers for the home. Most husbands acknowledge that they should provide for the physical needs of their wives and children. And too many husbands seem to think that to make a woman happy, all you need to do is give her things like diamonds, a nice house, nice clothes, and so forth. Yet some men, who are good providers, are surprised to find out that their wives are not satisfied with materialism. The reason is we are not animals. We are not machines. We are persons. And we not only have physical needs, but we also have personal needs. And the greatest personal need of a woman is the security of being loved. And so men, nice possessions should not substitute for your love, not for your wife, nor for your children.

There is another reason you should focus your attention on loving your wife:

B. Love is the Fulfillment of all Relationship Laws

Gal. 5:13b-14 says that love is the fulfillment of the law. Love will cause you to refrain from saying or doing anything that will hurt your wife. Love will cause you to do positive good toward your wife. Husbands, you may not need to go and buy some book on marriage, if you would just follow this commandment concerning love.

Next, I want to talk to you about:

II. HOW WE OBEY THIS IMPORTANT COMMAND

Husbands, the first thing you need to do is:

A. Understand the Meaning of Love

When Paul uses the word "love," he is not talking about sexual love (eros), though there is a place for that in marriage. He is not talking about friendship love (philos), though you should love as friends. Rather, he uses an uncommon word which became common in the New Testament. He uses the Greek word agape in its verb form (agapao). Now to understand this kind of love, we first need to understand what it is not. We often confuse physical attraction, infatuation, lust, and personal desire with love. For example, a person may say, "I love pizza." This kind of love has nothing to do with caring and devotion and giving. What we mean is, "I like the good feeling I get and the satisfaction I get when I eat pizza." That is about the level of love most people seem to have when they get married. It goes something like this, "I love the feeling I get when I am around Sam." This kind of love is really a self-centered kind of love. That is certainly not the kind of love that Paul has in mind here.

So what is agape love?

1. It is a love that is unselfish, that seeks not its own. That is one characteristic of love given by Paul in 1 Cor. 13:5. This kind of love is thoughtful and considerate. Such love gives and sacrifices.

2. It is unconditional. Agape love does not depend upon the loveliness or performance of the person loved. This is the Greek word that is used of God's love for us. Rom. 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Therefore, it is not an emotion that requires that your wife always deserve your love. Now wives do enjoy it when their husbands are head over heals in love with them because of their character, appearance, personality, and accomplishments. But they also need the security of knowing that their husbands will love them even when they mess up, or aren't looking great, or when they are in a bad mood.

3. Finally, this kind of love seeks to meet the needs of the person that we are showing love to. That doesn't mean fulfilling her every desire, but it certainly does mean fulfilling her needs. I have already stated that one of her greatest needs is to feel loved. This involves telling her that you love her with words, hugs, gifts, etc. Husbands, you show your love by spending time with you wife and doing things together, and talking with each other. Show your love by giving her focused attention.

So in order to obey this command to love, you need to understand what kind of love you are commanded to give your wife. I hope you have a better understanding of the goal you are seeking to attain. But what I've shared with you is still a bit abstract. So Paul gives an illustration of the kind of love you are to have for your wife. So the next thing you need to do is:

B. Love Your Wife as Christ Loved the Church

In v.25 Paul said, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church…." The love of Christ for the Church is the pattern we are to follow in expressing love for our wives. Obviously, we cannot love our wives as much as Christ loved the Church, but we can love our wives with the same kind of love. In other words, we may not have the ocean, but we can have little of it in our bucket. So what kind of love did Christ have for us, His Church? He teaches us to have:

1. Sacrificial, Giving Love

Notice in the last of v.25 that Christ so loved the Church that He "gave Himself for her." Christ loved us enough to leave heaven, to come to earth, to take on a human form, to be spit on and mocked, to be abused, to be crowned with a crown of thorns, to be nailed to a cross, and to have a spear thrust into His side. No sacrifice was too great for Christ to make on behalf of His bride, the Church. And the fact that His love is seen primarily in His sacrificial death for our salvation is seen in the tense of the verb here. Note that Paul did not say, "as Christ loves the church," but "as Christ loved the church." He is just using the past tense because he is thinking about the past great act of love: His sacrificial death.

So we should follow the example of Christ and love our wives sacrificially. Do you have this kind of love for your wife? When is the last time you made a sacrifice for your wife? Do you work hard to provide for your wife? Do you ever sacrifice your time? Occasionally giving up a game of golf to go shopping with your wife is a sacrifice! Would you be willing to die for your wife?

Furthermore, Christ teaches us to have a:

2. Purifying Love

In v.26 we read, "that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word." Christ loved the Church so much; He wanted to cleanse us and purify us. Sin was condemning us and destroying us, and so for our good He came to save us from sin by forgiving us in bearing our sins upon the cross. That was our greatest need. He is also in the process of cleansing sin from our lives.

Now how does this relate to the kind of love you should have for your spouse? You see, love seeks the well-being of the object of our love. Men, if you love a woman, you will do everything in you power to maintain her holiness, her virtue, her righteousness, and her purity. In fact, v.27 says that Christ wanted us to "be holy and without blemish." You will not lead her to sin, or into a situation where she would likely sin. And positively, you would help her to become more Christ-like.

The last of v.26 implies the means of helping your wife spiritually, and that's by the Word of God. Husband, you need to learn the Word of God; share the Word of God with your wife, and live out the teachings of the Word of God as an example to her. You should want your wife to come to church and hear the Word of God.

There is one other characteristic of the love of Christ for us, the Church. It is:

3. A Communicating Love

This is not specifically stated in this text, but Christ clearly communicated His love for us. Paul does say here that He demonstrated His love for us by sacrifice. Jesus also communicated His love by His words. For example, He said in John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you…."

So tell your wife that you love her, and do it often. One husband contributed the following true story to Reader's Digest: "One day I walked up behind my wife of 19 years and whispered into her ear, ‘I love you.'" Without saying a word, she went over and marked it on the calendar."1 Men, we need to say it more than once in a great while!

C. Love Your Wife as Your Own Body

In v.28 Paul says, "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies…." Likewise, Paul says in v.33, "Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself." Such self-love is not wrong. It is the natural law of life. One point that Paul is making is that you should love your wife at least as much as yourself. You should love your wife as you love your own body.

Paul is not just giving a pattern of love to follow. He's not simply saying that we should love our wives as we love ourselves. Rather, Paul also says that we are to love our wives because they are a part of us. He says in the last of v.28, "he who loves his wife loves himself." Why is that? Well in v.31 he quotes from Genesis 2:24, which says that in marriage, "the two shall become one flesh." A man should love his wife because she is part of his body. Husband, your wife is one with you. She is an extension of your own body in a real sense. The same thing is true spiritually in the relationship between the Church and Christ. Paul says in v.30, "For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones." That echoes Gen. 2:23.

What does this mean? We spend a lot of time on our bodies. Some of you jog & exercise to keep your body in good shape. I hope you are eating the right kind of foods. You keep your body warm in winter, and cool is summer. Furthermore, you protect your bodies from harm, don't you? When your body has needs, you do whatever it takes to meet those needs. Even so, you need to meet the needs of your wife. Furthermore, a man may have a body which does not altogether suit him. He may wish it were handsomer, healthier, stronger, or more active. He may wish that his head had more hair! Still it is his body, and he will take care of it at least to some degree. Even so, we are to love our wives unconditionally.

So if this fact has been grasped, that the wife is part of the husband's body, then the husband will indeed love his wife. To not do so is to bring harm on ourselves. Destroying your marriage is destroying part of yourself. Men, if you abuse your body, and fail to meet the needs of your body, the quality of your life will be affected. And if you fail to meet the needs of your wife, the quality of your life will certainly be affected. As they always say, "If momma isn't happy, nobody is happy." So for your sake, as well as her sake, love your wife!

How, then, should we love our wives? Well, love your wife the way you love your own body. Even so, Paul tells us in v.29 two specific ways we are to love our wives, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church." So we should love our wives:

1. By Nourishing Her

This word (ektrepho) means to nourish or feed. It was primarily used of nourishing and bringing up children (6:4). When a man is hungry, he will feed his flesh. Amen? A good feeling follows the act of nourishing. And Paul is not thinking only of supplying the body with barely enough food, clothing and shelter to enable it to eek out a mere existence; he refers instead to the bounteous, elaborate, unremitting, and sympathetic care we bestow on our bodies.

Even so, a man should nourish his wife. He is to provide for her physical needs, and do for her at least as much as he does for himself. Make sure her physical needs are fully met. She really likes it when you take her out to eat!

2. By Cherishing Her

Here again, this word (thalpo) was used primarily of a parent/child relationship. It means to warm and to cherish as a mother does an infant in her bosom (1 Th. 2:7).

Even so, husbands are to cherish our wives. Make sure her emotional needs are met. We should give our wives a lot of hugging and affection. Dr. Willard Harley, in his excellent book, His Needs Her Needs, outlines the top five needs in marriage for husbands and wives. Based on his research, he lists affection as the #1 need of a wife. So cherish your wife as you do your own body. Now our love for our own bodies illustrates one more truth about the kind of love we are to have for our wives:

3. By Commitment to Her

I have pointed out that in v.31 Paul quotes from Genesis, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." Because you are one with your wife, you should do as the Old Testament Scripture says, and that is cleave to your wife with a commitment to permanence. This arm is part of my body. I want to keep my arm because it is a vital part of my body. I will do everything I can to keep it an active part of my body. Men, your wife is to be as much a part of you as your arm is a part of you. Just as you will do all you can to keep your arm, you should do all you can to keep your wife. There is great security in the love of Christ for His Church. We are a part of His body, and nothing, according to Romans 8:35-39, shall separate us from the love of Christ. Your wife needs the security of knowing that nothing will separate her from your love.

A nurse shared this story of faithful commitment: It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman, in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 a.m. She took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. She saw him looking at his watch and decided, since she was not busy with another patient, she would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so she talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, they began to engage in conversation. She asked him if he had another doctor's appointment that morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told her no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. She then inquired as to her health. He told her that his wife had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer Disease. As they talked, she asked if she would be worried if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now. She was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted her hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." 2

Conclusion:

Men, I have set before you the kind of love you are to have for your wives. We are to have agape love, a love that is unselfish, that meets needs. We are to love our wives like Christ loved the Church, with a sacrificial, purifying love. What an example! And we are to love our wives as our own bodies. That means that we will nourish and cherish our wives. We will have an unconditional commitment to keep our wives, as we keep the members of our own bodies. You say, "How can I love like that?" This kind of love comes from God. 1 Jn. 4:7 says, "... Love [agape] is of God...." The Holy Spirit gives the Christian the ability to express this kind of love (Rom. 5:5). So if you are going to succeed in fulfilling the command of v.25, you must first obey the command of v.18! You need the filling of the Holy Spirit, and you will manifest the fruits of the Spirit, which includes love (Gal. 5:22). So a good and right relationship with the Lord is essential for you to be able to express this kind of love.

But many husbands are not even indwelt by the Spirit. In such cases, the first step to improving your marriage would be to trust in Christ as your Savior, and receive the Holy Spirit. If you need to be saved, will you trust Christ as your Savior today? If you are already a Christian, will you trust in the Lord to grant you the filling of the Holy Spirit? Will you make a commitment today to love your wife as Christ love the Church?

References:

1 Contributed to Reader's Digest by Steven J. Orendorff.

2 From Mikey's Funnies in Preaching Now, 2/8/05.

Sources:

Francis Foulkes, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries: The Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1963);

William Hendriksen, New Testament Commentary: Galatians and Ephesians (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1967);

Jim Henry (notes from his topical sermon based on this text);

Charles Hodge, Commentary on the Epistle to the Ephesians (New York: Robert Carter and Bros., 1860);

Tim Lahaye, How To Be Happy Though Married (Wheaton: Tyndale House Publishers, 1968);

Lightner-Laing, Success In Family Living (Denver, CO: B/P Publications, 1977);

John Macarthur, Jr., Family Feuding: How to End It: Study Notes on Ephesians 5:21-6:4 (Panaroma City, CA: Word of Grace Communications, 1981);

Larry Pierce, Online Bible [CD-ROM] (Ontario: Timnathserah Inc., 1996);

Charles R. Swindoll, Strike the Original Match (Portland: Multnomah Press, 1974);

Lehman Strauss, Galatians and Ephesians (Neptune, NJ: Loizeaux Brothers, 1957);

Curtis Vaughan, A Study Guide Commentary: Ephesians (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1977); Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Rich: Ephesians (Wheaton: Victor Books, 1977);

Norman Williams, The Christian Home (Chicago: Moody Press, 1952);

Kenneth S. Wuest's Word Studies From the Greek New Testament, Vol. 1, Ephesians (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1953);

Ed Young, Romancing the Home: How to have a Marriage that Sizzles (Nashville: Broadman & Hollman, 1994).

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are from The New King James Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1982).

by Sidney Callahan
Author, Creating New Life, Nurturing Families: A Woman's Perspective

"To give is to receive, and this law of life allows every mother to be called 'blessed' - despite the sorrows that inevitably come."

Mothers make the world go round, and once a year on Mother's Day the world recognizes this fact. In truth, nothing is quite so important for the well-being of an individual or a population as highly effective maternal nurturance. Essential caretaking starts with the physical protection and provisioning of the unborn in the womb. After birth, a child requires years of extended support and nurturing until he or she matures.

With new research findings it is now recognized that a mother's actions from the beginning of conception will affect her child's short- and long-term development. What a woman eats, drinks and ingests during her pregnancy affects her unborn offspring's health, even in later adult years.

Secret of Good Mothering

More obviously, psychological and social flourishing of children is rooted in the quality of a mother's personal and emotional interactions with them. The bonds of love and attachment with children enable a child to learn and engage in the child's "love affair with the world." Human beings are innately equipped with awesome capacities for language, reasoning and emotional responsiveness, but good mothering allows the seeds to flourish and bloom. From peek-a-boo to mutual eye gaze, babies are inducted into the human family. You first learn how to "be in relationship" with others in your mother's arms.

The secret of good mothering lies in attending to and empathizing with a child, and responding with whatever needs to be done to fulfill the child's needs. The more love, energy and intelligence a mother expends, the more successfully the child can increase in wisdom and grace. To be loved and affirmed, to be enjoyed, talked to and gently guided, starts a young life out well.

The mother-child dance creates new social persons. Families are well described as the first school of life which transmits morality, faith and cultural traditions. A mother's attitudes and emotions are contagious; children become moral and good by living with beloved good adults. Children desire to be like their parents and receive the implicit and explicit messages of the family. Civilization 101 is a home-based course that is continually in session, with Mother as chief instructor.

As all teachers and parents know, learning and growing up with others is always a two-way street. To give is to receive, and this law of life allows every mother to be called "blessed" - despite the sorrows that inevitably come. Altruism and sacrifice are made lighter when mothering love is present.

The Staying Power of Kinship

Love can be identified as the fusion of interest and joy. It appears early in infancy and lasts a lifetime. Mothers and their children can become loving friends and fellow pilgrims on their transforming journey.

Admittedly, familiar friends and lovers often share rough patches during their common journey. The stress on modern mothers increases as they know more, play more roles in the society and hold themselves to higher standards. Occasional collapses and failures take place. Of course, since Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel, conflicts have emerged in every family, but the staying power of kinship ties is remarkable. Forgiveness of prodigal children and tolerance of parental failures are the way wounds are healed.

Giving and forgiving mother love is one of the most convincing indications we have of what God's unconditional love for us is like. Mothers are like Jesus Christ: they open a door to us which no one can close. The faithful now understand why God is more frequently being addressed as "Our Mother" and why mystics speak of Christ as the mother who tenderly and steadfastly feeds and nourishes us. Christian faith has been understood as our "Yes, to a Yes." A mother's "yes" to God's "yes" deserves to be honored - and more often than on one day a year.

by Marianne Neifert, M.D., M.T.S., F.A.A.P. (Dr. Mom®)

1. Identify what you value most in life, your highest ideals, and most burning desires. (Luke 10: 27, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself.") Write an inspiring mission statement or mission prayer to guide you in prioritizing your daily actions and help you live more intentionally and in sync with your values. Then, deliberately choose to say "no" to some good things in order to open a space in your life to be able to say "yes" to your best thing. (Luke 10:42: "Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.")

2. Keep your relationships paramount. Our deepest needs are satisfied by our relationships, not by our accomplishments or experiences. Recall the e.e. cummings quote: "Be of love a little more careful than of anything." Acknowledge the toll chronic role overload takes on your cherished relationships. Regularly schedule time with your partner, children, extended family, and friends, and maintain at least one volunteer commitment. (Matthew 25:40, "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.")

3. Distinguish the "urgent" from the "important," and do something important every day. Many seemingly urgent things aren't very important, and the important things that characterize our lives often don't have a timetable. Don't wait for a space to open on your calendar to spend quality time with the people you love the most, make a service commitment, or pursue a long-term goal or life passion. Don't let daily "urgent" tasks crowd out the "important" things that give meaning and purpose to your life.

4. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Focus on the many blessings and positive aspects of your life. Remember that "happiness is being content with what you have." Make fewer judgments about the events in your life, and look for the possibilities in every circumstance. Each morning and evening, name 10 things for which you are grateful. (Lamentations 3:22-23, "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.")

5. Set your alarm 20 minutes earlier each morning to allow an intimate encounter with God before starting the day. Just as we savor spending time with the people we love, God longs for intimate fellowship with us. Read a Scripture passage and/or a daily devotion, pray and meditate, before setting your priorities for the day. When we strengthen our relationship and intimacy with God, we grow more confident in God's steadfast love, providential care, and empowering spirit. Ask God for discernment in structuring your time and experiencing peace of mind as you go about your work.

6. Reject the burden of perfectionism. Adopt the acceptable, totally respectable, standard of "adequate." Repeat the mantras…"Better done than perfect" or "The perfect is the enemy of the good." View most tasks as "pass/fail" assignments.

7. Try "re-framing" a task or commitment to fit within your mission, so it feels less like a "have to do" and more like a privilege and a choice that resonates with your sense of purpose. For example, tell yourself, "Watching my granddaughter feeds my spirit and makes my heart soar. This is exactly how I want to be a blessing today. The items on my "to do" list will get done in time."

8. Review your diverse responsibilities and consider whether you can delegate some duties (including the ownership for them), pay to have some things done (like housekeeping or yard work), do some things less well (like cooking simpler meals), or stop doing some things altogether (like giving up certain holiday traditions).

9. Practice saying "no," and notice the personal rewards that come from: acknowledging your human limits; realizing that other people are more self-sufficient that we give them credit for; and discovering that we continue to be valued and loved even when we can't always give everyone what they want.

10. Do not accept a new commitment when the request is first made. Explain that you need to think and pray about the opportunity and will get back to the person. Evaluate the request in terms of your faith, values, passions, talents, current stress level, and need for the approval of others. If you truly feel called to embrace the new endeavor, choose a present commitment to "put back into circulation" before accepting the new responsibility. However, if you decide the offer is not an ideal match for you, promptly contact the individual who made the request, thank them for their invitation, and firmly–without hesitation or equivocation–explain that you are unable to accept this new commitment. Wish them well with their worthwhile project.

11. Tackle the thing you dread the most. Do the "worst first." Worrying about "the dreaded task" saps your emotional energy. Stop the habit of "starting to plan to get ready to prepare to begin" and just do it. The longer you procrastinate, the better job you feel compelled to do in order to make up for the project being late. "She who has made a beginning is already half way there."

12. Don't allow guilt to push you into overload. Recognize that women's pervasive guilt–that so often motivates us to assume disproportionate family responsibility–largely is based on our need for control. If I interpret a negative event as "my fault," I can take comfort in the false notion that, if I had only done something different, I could have ensured a better outcome. Many women prefer feeling guilty, which fuels our perception of control, over feeling anxious about our inability to always protect our loved ones from harm or to make everyone happy.

13. Avoid trying to make an abrupt transition from one set of skills, pressures, mindset, and demands as you walk through the door of your home after work and assume daunting family responsibilities. Instead, determine what you need in order to be able to shift gears gently upon your return home: perhaps playing an audio book in the car, stopping for coffee/tea with a friend, requesting 20 minutes of alone time after arriving home before you are available to others, preparing a healthy snack, or playing your favorite music.

14. Recognize that your thoughts, feelings, opinions, wants, and needs are legitimate and valid. Don't expect your loved ones or colleagues to notice what you need or want or to take care of you. And don't be a martyr! Instead, recognize that self-care is not selfish. Self love and self-care are the foundation for love of others and all social responsibility. We are good and grateful stewards when we value ourselves enough to care for ourselves physically, emotionally, nutritionally, financially, relationally, and spiritually. Share your feelings, express your opinions, and don't hesitate to ask for what you need and want.

15. Schedule down time on your day planner. Don't wait for a space to open in your calendar to play golf or tennis, go to lunch with a friend, read a good book, or take a "free day." Instead, block out time for a manicure, massage, movie, or date night. Since "work fills the time available," everything essential will get done in the remaining time. Workaholics actually are less efficient than those who take necessary breaks and leave work on time.

16. Make a habit of taking regular Sabbath time, in order to deliberately turn from productive activity and quietly celebrate the fundamental goodness of life. Plan and practice intentional, consecrated periods of relaxation and reflection to let your mind rest and your body heal from the violence of busyness. (Psalm 46:10, "Be still, and know that I am God!") If you can't take a traditional Jewish Sabbath, practice taking a Sabbath nap, savoring a Sabbath meal, enjoying a Sabbath walk, or soaking in a Sabbath bubble bath.

17. Downscale and simplify your life. Donate some of your material possessions, resign some of your commitments, move closer to work or to a smaller home, cut back on structured children's activities, simplify your wardrobe or hairstyle, watch less television, scale down your holiday traditions, work part-time instead of full-time, take a leave of absence, get more sleep, and fix simpler meals.

18. Identify some specific spiritual practices that serve to renew your energy and enthusiasm for joyful service. Do you experience an authentic encounter with God by attending a worship service, hearing a dynamic sermon, singing in the choir, partaking of the Sacrament of Communion, reading Scripture, listening to Gospel music, participating in a Bible Study, teaching children's Sunday School, going on a mission trip, or reading a book by a Christian author? Use all these Means of Grace to nourish your soul and keep you grounded to the Source of Life.

19. Adopt a humor perspective. Laughter diffuses tension, lights up your face, relaxes you muscles, restores your perspective, shrinks your problems, buoys your spirits, aids healing, and helps the immune system. Learn to find the humor in everyday life, to laugh at the absurdity of your circumstances, and to see the world from a child's perspective.

20. Choose life-giving coping mechanisms - healthy practices that improve your emotional awareness, strengthen your relationships with others, enhance your self-esteem and make you feel more connected to others.

Examples of life-giving coping mechanisms include talking with a therapist or with friends, reading, exercising, experiencing nature, cooking healthy foods, deep breathing, pampering (such as a manicure or bubble bath), using symbols of your faith (devotions, meditation, prayer, hymns), volunteering, getting adequate sleep, or enjoying hobbies, music, movies, or pets. Stop using life-depleting coping mechanisms, or destructive practices that numb or suppress difficult feelings.

Life-depleting coping strategies includes angry outbursts (anger masks fear, anxiety, and vulnerable feelings), drugs and alcohol, workaholism, isolation and withdrawal, compulsions like shopping, gambling, television viewing, computer games, or eating disorders. These maladaptive coping methods are based on deceit and shame, harm our relationships by preventing emotional intimacy, and lower our self-esteem.

by Sraman Mitra

We are coping with the death of a dearly loved.

America is coping with Newtown.

India is coping with Damini.

Syria with Civil War.

Whether it is personal or universal, suffering seems ubiquitous. The augmented reality of social media makes it all even more intense, dominating our consciousness.

And yet.

As Spielberg reminded us recently with Lincoln, we have come a long, long way. Slavery has been abolished. Women can vote.

Life is messy. Change takes time. But it eventually does come. Civilization does move forward.

Meanwhile, wonderful, inspiring events continue to happen. Nature offers itself quietly to those who pay attention.

Here's a piece of verse from Tagore (Golden Raft):

By Ross Colvin and Kevin Lim

A woman whose gang rape provoked protests and rare national debate about violence against women in India died from her injuries on Saturday, prompting promises of action from a government that has struggled to respond to public outrage.

The unidentified 23-year-old medical student suffered a brain injury and massive internal damage in the attack on December 16 and died in hospital in Singapore where she had been taken for treatment.

The six suspects held in connection with the attack on the student on a New Delhi bus were charged with murder following her death, police said. The maximum penalty for murder is death.

Most sex crimes in India go unreported, many offenders go unpunished, and the wheels of justice turn slowly, according to social activists who say that successive governments have done little to ensure the safety of women.

Political leaders vowed steps to correct "shameful social attitudes" towards women in the world's biggest democracy.

"The need of the hour is a dispassionate debate and inquiry into the critical changes that are required in societal attitudes," the prime minister said in a statement.

REPATRIATION

The woman, beaten, raped and thrown out of a moving bus, had been flown to Singapore in a critical condition by the Indian government on Thursday.

She and her male friend were returning home from the cinema, media reports say, when six men on the bus beat them with metal rods and repeatedly raped the woman. Media said a rod was used in the rape, causing internal injuries. The friend survived.

"She was courageous in fighting for her life for so long against the odds but the trauma to her body was too severe for her to overcome," Kelvin Loh, chief executive officer of the Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore said in a statement announcing her death from multiple organ failure.

Hundreds of protesters took to the streets in the northern Indian city of Lucknow. In Hyderabad, in southern India, a group of women marched to demand severe punishment for the rapists. Protests were also held in the cities of Chennai, Kolkata and Mumbai.

"For some reason, and I don't really know why, she got through to us," well-known columnist Nilanjana Roy wrote in a blog on Saturday.

"Our words shriveled in the face of what she'd been subjected to by the six men travelling on that bus, who spent an hour torturing and raping her, savagely beating up her male friend."

GENDER ISSUES

The attack has put gender issues centre stage in Indian politics. Issues such as rape, dowry-related deaths and female infanticide have rarely entered mainstream political discourse.

Commentators and sociologists say the rape has tapped into a deep well of frustration many Indians feel over what they see as weak governance and poor leadership on social issues.

A global poll by the Thomson Reuters Foundation in June found that India was the worst place to be a woman because of high rates of infanticide, child marriage and slavery.

New Delhi has the highest number of sex crimes among India's major cities, with a rape reported on average every 18 hours, according to police figures. Government data show the number of reported rape cases in the country rose by nearly 17 percent between 2007 and 2011.

(Cry of a Rape Victim)

I still remember mom when once you and dad asked me what I need to do in my life I replied you I will reduce the pain of other's people and I became a physiotherapist so that I can try my level best to reduce the pain of others.

But today I am not able to resist my own pain.

Doctors are slashing my body parts for the fifth time like they were never the parts of my body…it is paining a lot mom I am not able to breathe properly and they attached me with oxygen cap. please tell the doctors not to give me the anesthesia mom.

I am scared I don't want to close my eyes. If I close my eyes it takes me to that scary phase of my life where I was being cut into pieces I was just bunch of flesh which was being continuously chopped by those animals. Those faces were very scary mom they were like those hungry animals who were biting at every parts of my body.

I don't have courage to look myself in the mirror.

Mom please break all the mirrors nearby me. Please take me to bath. I want to bathe. I want to sit under the shower for years mom so that I can wash those inhuman touch which has made me hate my own body.

I tried to go towards bathroom but my stomach pain didn't allow me to move myself. I can't raise my head to see you standing outside through door glass.

When someone enter in my room I feel very scared mom. my heartbeats gets faster my eyes searches for you. please be around me. I don't want to be alone.

Mom these medical instrument beeps are haunting in my brain. they sound like those unhelping traffic sounds which muted my cry and pleads which I was doing that time mom. The silence of this room reminds me of that silence when I was thrown on deserted road. I don't know what happened but I was feeling very much cold the same way like a person shivering with very high temperature. Mom do you remember once when dad slapped me in childhood how much you fought with him until dad didn't bring my favorite chocolate…Where is dad, mom?

I can't see him...is he ok mom ???

Please don't let him cry mom. Do you remember once how dad got angry on you when you used to shout on me for anything?

They have beaten me and my dearest friend with some metal. It was paining a lot mom. I saw how he was bleeding to save me but they were coward rascals. They kept on beating him together till he didn't collapse and then they scratched every parts of my body repeatedly mom.

You always taught me to fight with the difficult situations but I am very weak in this situation. please hold my hand.

I want to sleep please put my head in your lap.

Please wash my body.

Give me some pain killer my stomach is paining.

Please tell doctor not to cut more parts of my body. its paining a lot.

Here are some of the superfoods that build health and happiness:

■ Avocados: Avocados contain wonderful amounts of potassium, magnesium, folate, protein, and vitamins B6, E, and K, as well as fiber. Additionally, heart-healthy monounsaturated fatty acids (MUFAs) in avocados can actually help you lose belly fat.

■ Greek Yogurt: One serving supplies nearly one-fourth of a woman's daily calcium needs, and the fat-free variety is packed with twice as much protein as regular yogurt. As an added bonus, Greek yogurt is loaded with probiotics.

■ Wild Alaskan Salmon: With two kinds of healthy omega-3 oils in this delicious fish (which I order from Vital Choice), women should eat several servings each week to see benefits in mood boosts.

■ Wild Blueberries: They're absolutely packed with antioxidants and what tastes better than a bowl of them with cream? Nothing I can think of!

■ Broccoli: Delivering vitamin C and a good source of vitamin A as well as fiber, folic acid, calcium, iron, and potassium, broccoli helps you feel full on less than 30 calories per serving. If you don't care for broccoli, try stir frying florets in a high quality olive oil. I could never enjoy broccoli (or cauliflower) until I started eating both this way.

■ Walnuts: Practically the King of Nuts, walnuts are full of healthy oil. They're an excellent remedy for insomnia, too.

■ Dark Chocolate: I saved the best for last. You see, dark chocolate is loaded with magnesium, manganese, copper, zinc, and phosphorus, all of which are critical for strong bones. Let Sally Fields pitch that nasty Boniva with its multitude of terrible side effects… you enjoy some dark chocolate instead.

by Roy Walford and Lisa Walford

If you have been watching your cholesterol, you probably know about scrambled egg whites. You may not yet have tried scrambled tofu! The following recipes are a basic foundation for any number of vegetable combinations.

Ingredients:

Scrambled Eggs

Olive oil cooking spray
2 whole eggs plus 4 egg whites
1/4 small onion, minced
1/2 tomato, chopped
2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley
Dash of black pepper

Scrambled Egg Whites with Mushrooms

Olive oil cooking spray
5 egg whites
4 fresh mushrooms, chopped
1/4 small onion, minced
1/2 fresh tomato, chopped
1/2 teaspoon dried tarragon
1/2 teaspoon minced fresh basil

Scrambled Tofu with Garlic and Red Peppers

Olive oil cooking spray
6 ounces soft tofu
2 fresh mushrooms, chopped
1/4 small onion, minced
1/4 red bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1/2 clove garlic, pressed
1/2 teaspoon each ground turmeric and dried thyme
Dash of black pepper

Directions for For all variations.

Spray a medium-size skillet with olive oil and place over low heat.
Add the vegetables of choice. cover, and allow to "poach" in their own juices for 2 to 3 minutes.
Add the herbs and spices. Dry-fry, stirring a few times, until the vegetables are soft.

If using the egg whites and/or egg, beat lightly.
With a wooden or plastic spoon, stir the eggs into the vegetable mixture and scramble light to firm, as you prefer.

If using tofu, add to the vegetables along with the herbs and spices.
Break the wedge of tofu up into chunky pieces while "scrambling."
Tabasco sauce is quite good with tofu!

Yield: 4 servings

Nutrition Information:

Calories per serving scrambled whole eggs (with added whites) : 117.
Percentage of calories from fat 45%
protein 39%.
carbohydrates 15%.
137 mg cholesterol.

Calories per serving scrambled whites with mushrooms: 45.
Percentage of calories from fat 4%.
protein 55%.
carbohydrates 42%.
0 mg cholesterol.

I have a friend whose son had bad acne. I told them about the olive oil and they tried it for two weeks. They are simply amazed. The redness is gone and his face is clearing up. I am a firm believer in this cheap miracle oil. Also once a week if they would add a little sugar, it is a great exfoliator.

Directions: Put a small amount in palm of your hands, rub hands together and rub all over face and neck. Take a warm rag and gently wash your face. May feel weird at first but after a few days you will notice when you don't use it. It has also helped with progression of my wrinkles they seem to be disappearing.

I thought if people tried it they would feel the difference and not spend so much money on doctors.

Tracy

by Eric Sinoway

For most folks, January 1st was the day for both celebration and taking stock, for enjoying what we have and looking ahead to what the next year holds. But for my dear friend and mentor Howard Stevenson, that day was actually January 3rd - which he calls his second birthday. The occasion of his second birthday - a day six years ago that Howard died…and, remarkably, inexplicably, was given a second chance at life - is important for all of us.

The tale of how Howard escaped death by the slimmest possible margin - and the subsequent book that it inspired me to write, Howard's Gift: Uncommon Wisdom to Inspire Your Life's Work, - has seemingly captured the imagination of countless people around the world. From viewers of CNN to readers of Fortune Magazine and USA Today, it seems as if millions of men and women of all ages, in all lines of work, have discovered something that I have long known: like Bob Proctor himself, the wisdom from Howard Stevenson that I share in Howard's Gift has the power to change people's lives.

Howard's Gift begins with a scenario familiar to many of us: a question about health. For several weeks, Howard - the towering "father of entrepreneurship" at Harvard Business School - had sensed that something was wrong. He wasn't feeling quite himself. But the doctors he consulted - first, second, and third opinions - said he was fine. Then, as he walked across the Harvard campus on the afternoon of January 3rd, 2007, Howard's 66-year old heart … simply stopped and he crumpled to the ground. He had no heart-beat for four minutes. He'd died.

Ultimately, he returned to life through an extraordinary series of circumstances: a mobile defibrillator recently installed nearby and a colleague rushing with it to Howard's side; a friend (who'd received his CPR certification that day!) working tirelessly to resuscitate him; and an ambulance crew who happened to be carrying a special clot busting drug and were trained to inject it directly into the heart.

Nearly as extraordinary - for me, anyway - was a conversation he and I had during his recuperation. Ever the former student, I asked him if, looking back from what could have been the end of his life, he'd had any regrets.

"Nope, no regrets," he said.

With anything, I asked?

"Nope."

His simple, direct answer struck me with force. I certainly couldn't give the same response. And I challenge you to ask yourself if you could either.

That conversation led to lots of questions for me about my own life - and to many further discussions with him about how a person could live a life filled with satisfaction and no regrets.

Those talks and Howard's wisdom - really, his genius learned over decades of inspiring, coaching, and teaching scores of people of all ages - are presented in Howard's Gift so that you, too, may unlock your full potential and achieve a life of meaning, success, and inspiration. Howard and Bob share that rare ability - that "gift" - to help you unlock your full potential, take control of your life, and set yourself on a path to reach your personal and professional dreams.

Howard is just the kind of wise and experienced guide so many of us can use: someone who gently but firmly tests our assumptions, helps us navigate uncharted waters, and empowers us to make big decisions and take calculated risks. For many people, that jolt of inspiration and confidence comes at exactly the right time. January is the time for looking forward, setting objectives for the next year, and investing new energy in pursuing our career and life goals.

In fact, for a whole lot of folks, now is a hugely important time for looking forward. The time when the "hidden victims" of the long recession - people who may have kept their jobs but had to put their dreams and aspirations on hold - are now beginning to ask, "Is it finally time to go for it again?"

The answer for most of us is a clear and resounding YES. But, the answer to the appropriate next question - "Okay, how do I start?" - may not be so clear.

Howard has a very clear and practical answer: "Start at the end."

Here's what he means by this typically counter-intuitive advice: Think about what you want people to say about you at your funeral; how you'd want them to describe all the facets of your life, who you were, and what you'd accomplished.

Then turn that thinking into a concrete vision - a clear picture in your mind that draws together your most highly valued beliefs, desires, goals, and priorities into a holistic portrait of who you aspire to be.

This picture - this "Legacy Vision," as Howard calls it - will become your personal roadmap. It will be the reference point for all the myriad of personal and professional decisions you'll face as you pursue a satisfying and fulfilling life. As important, it will enable you to identify a series of concrete options for the next steps you take in pursuing your goals.

So here's my New Year's wish for you: That you resolve not to just "go for it" but to craft you own personal vision of what "it" means. That you pursue your vision with gusto - free from regret of things not done, dreams not pursued.

That resolution is the gift that Howard Stevenson has given me. A gift that comes wrapped in a renewed sense of life's opportunities - of the wonderful possibilities for creating your own inflection points in life.

It's a gift that I've tried to pass on to many other people through Howard's Gift. And I know that you will not regret seeking Howard's gift for yourself.

About The Author:

by Linda McLean

Frank's Diner was once an energized, thriving business, a favorite spot for locals and tourists alike in the scenic New England town of York Beach Maine. But when the economy hit a brick wall, Frank found it more and more difficult to hold onto his trademark, cheerful smile.

One day, Frank caught a glimpse in the mirror on the diner wall of a grumpy, scowling old man with frown lines embedded deeply in the corners of his mouth. He didn't recognize the man as himself. Looking around his desolate diner, he knew that it wasn't just the economy that had driven his customers away – it was his pessimistic attitude toward life. Frank had tried to remain optimistic but it seemed like the hits just kept coming, like a NorEaster pummeling the coastline. He often wondered what there was to look forward to each day.

His eyes met with a booth in the back corner of the diner where a frail elderly woman ate breakfast with a college age girl. Mrs. Sheridan and her caregiver Michelle had been coming in for breakfast every day for a couple of years. Frank would nod and force his face into a smile when they walked in the door each day. They were his best customers after all. Mrs. Sheridan would conclude each meal by scribbling something onto a diner napkin and placing the napkin in her purse with a contented smile.

One sunny fall day, even though the New England leaves painted a breathtaking landscape outside the diner windows, Frank was oblivious to the beauty that surrounded him. He was currently crouched under the counter, grumbling about how the dishwashers were always leaving spots on the coffee mugs. A feeble voice above interrupted his rant.

"Frank, I wonder if I could have a word with you."

Frank nearly smashed his head on the cash register as he jumped to his feet, looking at Mrs. Sheridan in surprise. Michelle held onto the old woman tight, obviously propping her up. All Frank could do was nod agreeably.

"I wanted to talk to you about these…"

She lifted her trembling arm, pointing toward the frown lines on Frank's face.

He opened his mouth to say something, to explain, to defend himself… but realized he had nothing to say, so Mrs. Sheridan continued.

"Young man, I learned a long time ago that life doesn't always go your way. Believe me, I have 90 plus years of my fair share of heartbreaks and challenges that I could easily carry around with me as baggage. Instead, I choose to carry these with me."

She reached into her purse and took out a stack of the napkins Frank had watched her scribble on every day. She had written things like: autumn leaves, Michelle's kindness, seashells from the beach, the beautiful sunrise today, another delicious breakfast at Frank's Diner.

"Frank I would like to challenge you to do the same; to stop carrying around your struggles and start carrying an attitude of gratitude instead."

After Mrs. Sheridan further described his daily "homework assignment," Frank didn't have the heart to refuse her request.

At first he did it to appease her. As she watched from her booth each day, Frank would dutifully take a napkin from a dispenser on the counter, scribble something he was grateful for on it and put it in his pocket. The process was mechanical in the beginning, mindless instead of mindful. But each time Mrs. Sheridan smiled over at him, wordlessly encouraging him to continue.

Frank barely noticed when things began to change, when the words of gratitude he jotted down on the napkin each morning began to sink into his thick, stubborn skull. The attitude of gratitude he had inadvertently adopted through the sheer routine of it, began to truly mean something. That was when Frank's life began to change…

A little over a month into his daily gratitude homework, Frank once again caught a glimpse of himself in the diner mirror. The reflection in the mirror was of a glowing, joyful man whom he hadn't seen for years. This man looked forward to each new day with hope and enthusiasm.

Still smiling almost uncontrollably at the realization of how much life had changed, Frank surveyed his now bustling business. Locals, staff, and tourists alike were cheerfully enjoying the revitalized space. Even though Frank hadn't made any physical renovations, the diner somehow looked brighter to him. His eyes automatically drifted to the corner, to share in the moment with Mrs. Sheridan. But for the first time in a few days, the booth was empty. Frank's heart sank…

A couple days later Michelle arrived and placed a box on the counter in front of Frank with a solemn smile, tears glistening in the young woman's eyes.

"Mrs. Sheridan wanted you to have these."

Looking at the floor so she couldn't see his own tearful eyes, Frank simply nodded his appreciation. He felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude wash over him that such a special lady had come into his life, and exactly when he needed her most.

By time the springtime leaves were blooming, Frank's Diner was more popular than ever in York Beach. There was one new feature in particular that was a huge customer draw. When a diner patron reached for a napkin from a dispenser, they also received a message of gratitude printed on it. Each message was word for word from Mrs. Sheridan's collection; along with a few from Frank's own personal stash. Beneath the message was the question – "What are you grateful for today?" with a blank line beneath. Frank would watch from the counter as customers of all ages and from all walks of life eagerly scribbled their answers on napkins, and almost always with a smile. Mrs. Sheridan's unwavering attitude of gratitude, it seemed, had transformed not only his own life, but the lives of those around him as well.

What steps will YOU take today and every day to adopt an attitude of gratitude in your life? Will you make the choice to focus on your burdens or your blessings? It is so easy to feel shortchanged when we focus on lack. But when we practice gratitude as a daily habit, life has a way of transforming positively around us. Whether you use something as simple as a napkin ora journal, when you write down the things you are grateful for each day you'll be changing your view of the world around you, just one day at a time.

About The Author: