The house owner opened the door.

"I want a place to stay," said the ant.

" I have a vacant room which you can occupy for free of cost," said the owner.

The ant went inside and occupied the vacant room.

After some days, the ant brought in another ant and requested the owner, "Can you please allow this ant to stay with me?"

"Oh sure, you can do so without paying any rent," said the owner.

After some days the ant brought a 3rd ant and requested the owner to allow it to stay with them.

The owner agreed to it without asking for any rent.

This went on as the ant brought in more and more ants and the owner agreed to let them stay without any rent.

One fine day, the ant brought in the 10th ant and requested the owner to allow it to stay with them all.

The owner said, "OK, you can all stay here but now you all need to pay rent."

Now the question is:

Why did the owner ask for rent when the 10th ant came in?

.

.

.

.
..........

The first accountant finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used 3 paper towels and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two consultants he said, "At Ernst and Young, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second consultant finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, "At KPMG, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely cost efficient."

Do you keep falling asleep in seminars?

Here's what to do

1. Before your next conference, prepare yourself by drawing a square. Divide the card into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competency
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* to tell you the truth
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* client focus
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, shout "BULLSHIT!"

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:
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1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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2. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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3. The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. 'The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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4. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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5. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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6. Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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7. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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8. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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9. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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10. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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11. Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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12. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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13. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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14. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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15. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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16. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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17. And this one just about sums them all up:
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:

Yes, I am changing. — After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children, my friends, now I have started loving myself.

Yes, I am changing. — I just realised that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

Yes, I am changing — I now stopped bargaining with vegetables and fruits vendors. After all, a few rupees more is not going to burn a hole in my pocket but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

Yes, I am changing — I pay the taxi driver without waiting for the change. The extra money might bring a smile on his face. After all he is toiling much harder for a living than me.

Yes, I am changing — I stopped telling the elderly that they've already narrated that story many times. After all, the story makes them walk down the memory lane and relieve the past.

Yes, I am changing — I've learnt not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. After all, the onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.

Yes, I am changing — I give compliments freely and generously. After all it's a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me.

Yes, I am changing — I've learnt not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. After all, personality speaks louder than appearances.

Yes, I am changing — I walk away from people who don't value me. After all, they might not know my worth, but I do.

Yes, I am changing — I remain cool when someone plays dirty politics to outrun me in the rat race. After all, I am not a rat and neither am I in any race.

Yes, I am changing — I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. After all, it's my emotions that make me human.

Yes, I am changing — I have learnt that its better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. After all, my ego will keep me aloof whereas with relationships I will never be alone.

Yes, I am changing — I've learnt to live each day as if it's the last. After all, it might be the last.

The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip...."

So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12..

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10....

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.

10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'

11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body.." He did not say,"Eat me."

12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.

13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.