by Veronica Neffinger

Like any healthy relationship, a good marriage requires work. No matter how compatible a couple may be or how in love they feel, there will be times when unforeseen challenges arise, and it's then that the true foundation of a marriage is revealed.

Lizzy Christian shares in her article for Relevant "5 Things Every Healthy Married Couple Does" how she and her husband got married very young and, through the years, what practices they have learned are essential to maintaining a healthy marriage.

"Love is more than a feeling, it is more than the butterflies in your stomach," writes Christian. Instead, "Love is a lifelong commitment. Love is facing obstacles together, leaning on Christ together and learning to lean on one another when things seem unbearable. Marriage is often like climbing a mountain—challenging, often an uphill battle, with beautiful scenery as we climb."

Here are five things that Christian couples should put into practice in order to keep their marriages strong and their relationship growing and vibrant.

1.They don't let society pull them down.

There will always be the naysayers--those who are ready to criticize you for marrying too young, or even those who are skeptical of marriage in general. I remember in high school having one jaded middle-aged woman warn me never to get married (I didn't take her advice!). It's important to seek out wise and Godly counsel before making a marriage commitment (and throughout your marriage), rather than allowing offhand comments from people who don't know you best to influence such a big decision.

"Stay active in church, read your Bible together, pray together and come together as one. Be adventurous, make memories, grow together as a couple and try new things together," writes Christian.

2. They don't ever talk about divorce.

When my husband and I got married, we both agreed that divorce would not be an option. Allowing yourself a way to escape if the going gets tough is harmful for any relationship and doesn't build a sense of trust and commitment. Of course, there may be more drastic cases in which divorce may actually be for the best, but in most cases, divorce could be prevented if couples were willing to work through the really challenging times of no longer feeling in love. As Christian notes, "Love is not a feeling," so even though you may not feel in love with your spouse, you can fall back on your commitment to him or her and trust God to renew those feelings once your heart attitude is in the right place. This is a very difficult thing, and is something we cannot do without God's grace.

3. They remember that marriage is not 50/50.

This is personally probably the hardest one for me. My sense of fairness and justice says that marriage should be 50/50 and that my husband and I should each put in half the work and pull half the weight. But that's not the way Jesus works, and it's not the way He engages in relationship with us, and it's also not the way He calls us to love others. "Give 100 percent to your spouse and beautiful things will follow. Focus on what you are doing rather than looking for your spouse's shortcomings," writes Christian.

4. They know that you will change a lot.

Especially if you get married young, you will change as a person--and consequently as a couple--a lot. It's important to remember that this is okay and even healthy. As you go through different seasons of life and change together, consider what you can do to grow together rather than apart. How can you and your spouse take on this new challenge as a team? How can this new season of life be a way to get to know your spouse on a deeper level? It's sometimes tempting to look back on the first months of dating or the first months of marriage as a better or easier time, but God has given you each other to share a journey together, and that means there will be good memories that you can treasure, but also always new challenges and opportunities for growth.

5. They start every day with fresh eyes.

My husband likes to remind me of the verse that says "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" (Ephesians 4:26) when I am still mad after a disagreement (I'm usually the more stubborn one). God's forgiveness is swift, and so should ours be. You may have fought and argued or just had a really bad day in your marriage, but God's mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). Tomorrow is always another chance to start over, another chance to bask in God's grace.

Christian concludes: "Instead of being marriage naysayers, let's get out there and encourage young couples and all couples who are planning to say 'I do!' Marriage is fun and only seems to get better with each passing day—if you let it."

About The Author:

Veronica Neffinger is the editor of ChristianHeadlines.com

By Dr. James Dobson

As a father, you are going to confront contests of wills with your daughter many times. In those moments where your authority as a parent is challenged, it is extremely important for you to "win." Why? Because a child who behaves in ways that are disrespectful or harmful to herself or others often has a hidden motive. Whether she recognizes it or not, she is usually seeking to verify the existence and stability of the boundaries.

A child who defies the leadership of her parents is reassured when they remain confident and firm under fire. It creates a sense of security for a kid who lives in a structured environment in which the rights of other people (and her own) are protected by well-defined limits.

With that said, here are the how-to's of shaping a child's will. I've boiled this complex topic down to six straightforward guidelines that I hope will be helpful, the first of which is most important…

First: Begin Teaching Respect for Authority While Children Are Very Young

The most urgent advice I can give to the parents of an assertive, independent child is to establish their positions as strong but loving leaders when Missy is in the preschool years.

This is the first step toward helping her learn to control her powerful impulses. Alas, there is no time to lose, because a naturally defiant youngster is in a high-risk category for antisocial behavior later in life. She is more likely to challenge her teachers in school and question the values she has been taught. Her temperament leads her to oppose anyone who tries to tell her what to do. Fortunately, this outcome is not inevitable, because the complexities of the human personality make it impossible to predict behavior with complete accuracy.

But the probabilities lie in that direction. Thus, you must begin shaping the will of the particularly aggressive child very early in life. (Notice that I did not say to crush her will or to destroy it or to snuff it out, but to rein it in for her own good.) But how is that accomplished?

Well, first let me tell you how not to approach that objective. Harshness, gruffness, and sternness are not effective in shaping a child's will. Likewise, constant whacking and threatening and criticizing are destructive and counterproductive. A parent who is mean and angry most of the time is creating resentment that will be stored and come roaring into the relationship during adolescence or beyond. Therefore, every opportunity should be taken to keep the tenor of the home pleasant, fun, and accepting. At the same time, however, parents should display confident firmness in their demeanor. You, Dad, are the boss. You are in charge. If you believe it, your daughter will accept it also.

Second: Define the Boundaries before They Are Enforced

Preceding any disciplinary event is the necessity of establishing reasonable expectations and boundaries for the child. She should know what is and is not acceptable behavior before she is held responsible for it. This precondition will eliminate the sense of injustice that a youngster feels when she is punished or scolded for violating a vague or unidentified rule.

Third: Distinguish between Willful Defiance and Childish Irresponsibility

There is a world of difference between childish irresponsibility and "willful defiance." Understanding the distinction will be useful in knowing how to interpret the meaning of a behavior and how to respond to it appropriately.

For instance, children regularly spill things, lose things, break things, forget things, and mess up things. That's the way kids are made. These behaviors represent the mechanism by which children are protected from adult-level cares and burdens. When accidents happen, patience and tolerance are the order of the day. If the foolishness was particularly pronounced for the age and maturity of the individual, you might want to have the youngster help with the cleanup or even work to pay for the loss. Otherwise, I think the event should be ignored.

There is another category of behavior, however, that is strikingly different. It occurs when a child blatantly defies the authority of the parent. She may shout "I will not!" or "You shut up!" or "You can't make me." It may happen when she throws a violent temper tantrum in order to get her way. These behaviors represent a willful, haughty spirit and a determination to disobey. Something very different is going on in those moments. You have drawn a line in the dirt, and she has deliberately stepped across it.

You're both asking, "Who is going to win? Who is in charge here?" If you do not conclusively answer these questions for her, she will precipitate other battles designed to ask them again and again.

Fourth: Reassure and Teach after the Confrontation Is Over

After a time of conflict during which you have demonstrated your right to lead (particularly if it resulted in tears for the child), the youngster between two and seven (or older) will probably want to be loved and reassured. By all means, open your arms and let her come! Hold her close and tell her of your love. Rock her gently and let her know again why she was punished and how she can avoid the trouble next time. This is a teachable moment, when the objective of your discipline can be explained. And for the Christian family, it is extremely important to pray with the child at that time, admitting to God that we have all sinned and no one is perfect. Divine forgiveness is a marvelous experience, even for a very young child.

Fifth: Avoid Impossible Demands

Be absolutely sure that your child is capable of delivering what you require. Never punish her for wetting the bed involuntarily or for not becoming potty-trained by one year of age or for doing poorly in school when she is incapable of academic success. These impossible demands put the child in an irresolvable conflict: there is no way out. That condition brings unnecessary risks to the human emotional apparatus. Besides that, it is simply unjust.

Sixth: Let Love Be Your Guide!

A relationship that is characterized by genuine love and affection is likely to be a healthy one, even though some parental mistakes and errors are inevitable. These six steps should form the foundation for healthy parent-child relationships.

A relationship that is characterized by genuine love and affection is likely to be a healthy one.

From Dads and Daughters by Dr. James Dobson.

About The Author:

Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, "Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk." He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn't Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels. ...

by Anne Peterson

Life is hard. For some, it's impossible. This last year has been one of our hardest. March 11th, 2016 we buried our 14-month-old granddaughter. Why would a loving God give a child and then carry her away at 14 months? I don't know the answer to that, but I can tell you what I do know. God is good, no matter what.

God gives us free will.

Ever since Adam and Eve were given a choice in that beautiful garden, life was about to change. Read Genesis 3:6-19. But before you're quick to put the blame on them, think again. We would have chosen the same thing. How do I know? Because we all want our own ways. Once they chose to eat of that fruit, the whole game changed.

Before the fall, God provided for their every need. Adam was given great responsibility, but he also enjoyed his work. There was no sickness, no death. Simply two people depending on their heavenly Father completely. It's a wonderful picture of God's love. Before the fall, life was not hard. But God gave man a choice--free will.

One thing I've learned about free will is that we only like it sometimes. We like free will if it's our free will. We want to make our own choices. But when someone uses their free will and it hurts us or our loved one, we are no longer fans of free will.

Adam and Eve got to choose. While we are living on this side of glory, there will be hard things we go through. Sometimes because of our decisions, sometimes because of the decisions of others, those hard times are out there.

God will never leave us.

The thing is, God never promised it would be easy. I looked all through his promise book and it's not there. And yet, he did promise that no matter what we go through, he would be with us. Read Deuteronomy 31:6. We will not go through it alone. Like a loving dad, he holds our hand, or if things get too scary, he will carry us. Read Isaiah 46:4. I can nuzzle my head right into his neck and know it's going to be okay. He's right there.

God gives us grace.

God has this special thing he gives us when the hard times come. Paul knew about it and mentioned it in 2 Corinthians 12:8-9. Instead of answering Paul's prayer and removing what was hard from his life, God gave him grace. God wanted Paul to know what Paul was facing was hard, but God would provide what he needed in that hard place. God's grace enables us to do things we never thought we could do... like when I sat at my sister's murder trial waiting to testify. I didn't sit there alone. God was with me, giving me his grace.

God has overcome the world.

Maybe you're wondering why God didn't warn us about life being hard. Well, he did. Read John 16:33. Tribulation means hard times. God let us know we would experience hard times. But he reminded us we would not be alone. When we found out our granddaughter, Olivia, would probably die before she was born, God was with us. At 16, when I stood at my mother's casket, God was with me. There is not one hard thing I've gone through, not one loss I've experienced alone. And when things felt like I could not handle them, I could run to him. Read Psalm 91:1. Do you remember when you were little and you got scared? God knows sometimes we still feel like that in life. So he said we can always run to him. We can hide in his shadow, his giant loving shadow.

God comforts us.

Rushing to get my three year old son, Nathan, into the car, I heard him scream. To my horror, I had shut the door on his chubby little fingers. I threw the door open, freeing his hand to hear his surprised voice cry, “Mom, why did you do that?”

He was stunned that the same mom who loved him so much would hurt him. I've felt like that in my life at times. When I miscarried, I felt like my heart was inside a door that God had slammed. I wondered why. And then when I found out I had to wait a year to get pregnant, I struggled with it. And do you know what God did? He picked me up and cuddled me, just like I did to my son. He met me where I was. God always gives us comfort when we need it. Read 2 Corinthians: 3-4. God opens up his storehouse and dispenses comfort any hour of the day it's needed. And his supply will never run out.

God has a purpose for pain.

Maybe you already know all these promises, but you're stuck because you want to understand why we have to have pain. I mean, he is God; he could bypass all of that if he wanted to, couldn't he? And then I think of his own Son and how God allowed him to suffer on the cross. Because God loved us.

God has reasons we may not understand. He thinks differently than we do. Read Isaiah 55:8-9. God's ways are not our ways, nor are his thoughts like our thoughts. We cannot understand an infinite God with finite minds. That's where trust comes in. And when we go through hard times, we need to remember God is all-knowing. And he works everything together for our good. Romans 8:28. Even though life is hard, we can trust that God is good.

Please pray with me:

Father, we pray that you will help us when we go through hard times in our lives. Help us to be like David who always remembered how good you are. Help us to trust you when things don't make sense. And God, on days when our hearts are broken, carry us, as only you can do. We believe that life is hard, but you are good. You can't be anything else. Amen.

About The Author:

Anne Peterson is a poet, speaker and published author of fourteen books. Some of which are: Her memoir, Broken: A Story of Abuse and Survival, three children's books: Emma's Wish, The Crooked House, and Lulu's Lunch. She has also authored the poetry books Droplets, and the series He Whispers. While Anne enjoys being a poet, speaker and published author, her favorite title is still 'Grandma' to her grandchildren...