by John Piper

If Daddy is afraid, where can a little child turn? Daddies are supposed to be safe. They are supposed to know what to do and how to solve problems and fix things and, most of all, protect the children from harm. But what happens if a child sees fear in Daddy's face? What if Daddy is as scared as the child, and doesn't know what to do? Then the child is utterly distraught and feels panic. He feels that the one strong and good and reliable place of safety is no longer safe.

But if Daddy is confident, then the children have a refuge. If Daddy is not panicking, but calm and steady, all the walls can come tumbling down, and all the waves can break, and all the snakes can hiss and the lions roar and the wind blow, and there will still be a safe place in Daddy's arms. Daddy is a refuge, as long as Daddy is confident.

That's why Proverbs 14:26 says that "his children will have a refuge," if Daddy has a "strong confidence." Daddy's confidence is the refuge of his children. Dads, the battle to be confident is not just about us, it is about the security of our children. It is about their sense of security and happiness. It's about whether they grow up fretful or firm in faith. Until children can know God in a deep personal way, we are the image and the embodiment of God in their lives. If we are confident and reliable and safe for them, they will be much more likely to cleave to God as their refuge when the storms break over them later.

So how shall we have "strong confidence"? After all, we, too, are little children, clay pots, weak and broken and battling anxieties and doubts. Is the solution to put on the best show we can and hide our true selves? That will lead to ulcers at best, and God-dishonoring teenager-repelling duplicity at worst. That is not the answer.

Proverbs 14:26 gives another answer: "In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence." This is very strange. It says that the solution to fear is fear. The solution to timidity is fear. The solution to uncertainty is fear. The solution to doubt is fear.

How can this be?

Part of the answer is that the "fear of the Lord" means fearing to dishonor the Lord. Which means fearing to distrust the Lord. Which means fearing to fear anything that the Lord has promised to help you overcome. In other words the fear of the Lord is the great fear destroyer.

If the Lord says, "Fear not, I am with you, be not dismayed, I will help you," (Isaiah 41:10), then it is a fearful thing to worry about the problem he says he will help you with. Fearing that problem when he says, "Fear not, I will help you, is a vote of no confidence against God's word, and that is a great dishonor to God. And the fear of the Lord trembles at such dishonoring God.

If the Lord says, "I will never fail you nor forsake you," so you can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid; what can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:5-6) - if the Lord says that to you, then not to be confident in the Lord's promised presence and help is a kind of pride. It puts our reckoning of the trouble above God's. That is why we read the amazing words of the Lord in Isaiah 51:12 "I, even I, am He who comforts you. Who are you that you are afraid of man who dies And of the son of man who is made like grass?" Who are you to fear man, when God has promised to help you? So it is pride to fear man. And pride is the exact opposite of the fear of God.

So, yes, the Proverb is true and a great help to us. Fear God, dads. Fear God. Fear dishonoring him. Fear distrusting him. Fear putting your assessment of the problem above his. He says he can help. He is smarter. He is stronger. He is more generous. Trust him. Fear not to trust him.

Why? He works for those who wait for him (Isaiah 64:4). He will solve the problem. He will rescue the family. He will take care of the little ones. He will meet your needs. Fear not believing that. Then your children will have a refuge. They will have a Daddy who "has strong confidence" - not in himself, but in the promises of God, which he trembles not to trust.

By Barbara Rainey

They were bringing children to Him so that He might touch them.
- Mark 10:13

One of the biggest needs of your children - no matter what their age - is for physical touch. Regular hugs, kisses and hand holding all say to them, "You are loved."

When your children are little, make sure they have lots of time in your lap to cuddle. Hug them for no reason at all. But also be sure to create special traditions of affection each day, like bedtime kisses and good-morning hugs. Arriving at home after a day of work or an afternoon of running errands offers another great opportunity to give affectionate touch.

When our children were smaller, we turned these greeting times into "The Bear Hug Routine." Dennis would get near Deborah, for instance, and say, "Do you want a baby bear hug, a mama bear hug or a daddy bear hug?" Our children would usually work through all three, amid shrieks of laughter. Even today, they still smile when he asks if they or especially their children want a bear hug. The tradition
of affection goes on.

Teenagers and adult children, too, need our loving touch. I remember reaching out to hug Benjamin - his growing frame towering over mine, his emerging beard feeling scratchy on my face. I hugged him quickly, let go and tried to step back, only to be pleasantly surprised when he held on tight. He seemed to be saying, "I may look grown up, I may look like I don't need it, but don't stop. I still love it when you hold me."

Does your relationship with your children have some catching up - some touching up - to do?

DISCUSS

Did you come from a hugging family? How did that affect you? How does it affect your parenting? What family member needs a hug from you today?

PRAY

Pray that you will never withhold any expression of love your child really needs.

by Napoleon Hill

Here is one of the stories Carnegie told about his master mind alliance. It shows the vital importance of the element of harmony, which has previously been pointed out in our consideration of the major points of the master mind principle.

Mr. Carnegie decided he wanted the best trained man he could find for his chief chemist, so he sent a scout to comb the world to find him. The scout finally found the one he thought would be satisfactory. He was in the great Krupp Steel Works in Germany. Carnegie entered into a contract with him on a five year basis, but before the end of the first year he had to release him. The reason? He was temperamental; he could not work in harmony with the rest of the master mind alliance. He kept the other members of the alliance in an upheaval all the time. Mr. Carnegie soon realized that it would be fatal to keep such a man on his payroll, so he paid him and sent him back home.

Mr. Carnegie said that one man with a negative mental attitude turned loose in a factory of a thousand people could discolor the minds of the rest of them without saying a word. That statement, from so astute a judge of human character as Andrew Carnegie, is worthy of our examination. Think about it!

by Gina Smith

"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother."
- Matthew 18:15

1. Examine your heart.

Be sure you are not going to the offender in anger or with an attitude of setting them straight. The goal must be to bring reconciliation.

2. Assume the best. (…or "innocent until proven guilty!)

Don't assume that another person has purposely done something to hurt you. Maybe they are unaware of how they came across or that whatever they did was offensive to you.

3. Be careful not to analyze a situation and "fill in the blanks," possibly making more of a situation than there actually might be.

4 .Evaluate whether the offense was sin (something that is condemned in Scripture) or if it was a misunderstanding.

5. Don't go to others and complain about the situation.

6. Before you go to the person who has offended you, ask God to help you to be open to hear the other person's heart.

7. Let him know that your desire is to hear what he has to say and that you are there with the intent of getting things worked out and reconciliation.

"Love is patient, love is kind…It is not rude…it is not easily angered…always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13

8. Assure the other person of your commitment to them as a member of the body of Christ. Let them know you don't want anything to stand between you. Affirm the person in any way possible.

9. Acknowledge that you may have taken whatever the person said or did in a way that he did not intend it to be taken.

10. Ask God to help you to humbly explain the way you view the situation that has brought offense. Try to lay out the facts as objectively as possible. Don't accuse.

11. Ask for the person's point of view and give them time to explain.

Be willing to adjust your understanding of the situation and to really hear their perspective. Be willing to admit that you may have misunderstood them.

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:34-35

12. Remember that we are required to do everything possible to live at peace with all men and that we are called to love one another as Christ loved us…and this is how others will know you are His disciples.

13. If the person admits they were wrong and asks for forgiveness, speak words of forgiveness.

14. If the person does not feel they did anything wrong and assures you that you have misunderstood them, you must then take it at face value and move on.

15. If possible, pray with the person and verbalize your commitment to him as a member of the body of Christ. Pray for them and ask God to help you to not develop any bitterness but that you would forgive in the same way you have been forgiven by God.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Romans 12:18

16. We must make it our goal to approach others the same way we will want to be approached when we become the one guilty of offending.

This article originally appeared on GinalSmith.com. Used with permission.

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