Coriander-mint chicken in coconut gravy

by Michael Josephson, www.whatwillmatter.com

If we interviewed 100 people who are unusually happy, I think the most prominent common denominator would be unusually good relationships.

Despite the widespread promotion of materialism and vanity in our popular culture, wealth and beauty are simply not enough to produce happiness. In fact, they’re not even necessary. What’s more, bad relationships - at work, in the family or at home - are a surefire source of anguish and heartache.

For most of us, the relationships that most strongly influence our level of happiness are family relationships. And the most powerful of all are at the inner core of family, especially parent-child relationships.

No matter your age, your relationship with your parents will always have a unique capacity to generate comfort or pain. Many children have ambivalent feelings about their parents. Yet most crave their approval, respect and love. Parents have a similar need.

If you’re a parent, resolve to make more consistent and conscientious efforts to make your children feel appreciated. If you want to make their lives and yours happier, be careful to not demean or diminish their achievements and to avoid expressions of disappointment. Tell your child that you are proud to have him or her as a son or daughter.

By Dr. James Dobson

Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:10

Each of us has a heartfelt need to be honored and respected. All too often, however, we take our spouses for granted at home. Is it any wonder that so many mothers hold down jobs in the workplace today? Many work for financial reasons, but some do so to find the recognition and praise they don't get from their mates. Could this also be why many men spend excessive hours at work - to receive from colleagues the accolades that they don't get at home?

Your partner is a jack‐of‐all‐trades who brings a host of skills to your marriage: provider, short‐order cook, nurse, counselor, financial planner, gardener, arbiter of sibling disputes, spiritual leader, comforter, and much more. We encourage you to show your appreciation for these talents and services. Tell your wife how much you enjoy her cooking. Send your husband to work with a note praising him for his good judgment with the family budget. In front of guests, compliment her taste in home decor and his wise guidance of the children.

If we don't make our mate feel honored and respected, we may find our partner looking for recognition somewhere else.

Just between us . . .

• What couple do we know who is an example to us of honoring each other?
• Do we honor each other well?
• What opportunities to bestow honor have we missed?

Have we sought recognition elsewhere because we weren't receiving enough at home? Heavenly Father, forgive us for any self-centeredness or lack of consideration in our marriage. Please teach us to make honoring our spouse a reflex action, not a begrudging afterthought. Amen.

From Night Light for Couples by Dr. James and Shirley Dobson.

About The Author:

by Brent Rinehart

It's estimated that most adults have a vocabulary of 20,000 to 35,000 words, and we use thousands of them every day. We say a lot of things in the course of a day, and I would argue that much of it is of little consequence in the long run. Except when it comes to the words we use in our homes.

Words matter. Our children soak them up like little sponges. I can watch my daughter play "house" with her dolls and hear her say some of the same things her mom or I tell her. It's proof that she's listening to what we say, even when it doesn't seem like it.

Of all the phrases we say as parents, there are a few that I believe every child needs to hear.

1. God loves you.

The most basic and important truth we can instill in our children is the fact that God loves them. It's simple enough that even a young child can grasp it. They will carry it throughout their lives. The Bible says to "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6, ESV). If you tell your children regularly that God loves them, there's a pretty solid chance they'll never forget it. If you never tell your children that God loves them, you are depriving them of the head start they deserve and leaving an open door for the Enemy to come in and tell them otherwise.

2. I love you.

This phrase probably goes without saying. Sure, we all love our children. Showing we love them every day is important. And, yes, there's a lot of truth to the saying "Actions speak louder than words." I'm a big believer in Gary Chapman's book, "The 5 Love Languages," so I think it's incredibly important to give love the way your children have been designed to receive it. For some, it means more hugs or nice words. For others, it means more quality time spent together. But, there's no substitute for telling your children you love them. Don't let the sun go down on a single day without them hearing those words.

3. I am here for you.

Children need to know that their parents are always there. We need to communicate with them and let them know that there's no situation too big or scary for Mom or Dad. Just as we can take anything to God, our children need to trust that they can bring anything to us. God didn't design us to be "besties" with our kids in lieu of being a parent. But, He did design us with shoulders to cry on, arms to hug with, and mouths to speak comfort to our children at the times they need it most. Our children need to understand we are always there for them, and in addition to proving it by our actions, we can tell them with our words.

4. I am proud of you.

The other day, I was talking with my 5-year-old daughter about a situation she had a school. She was telling me how she handled it, and I was impressed. I said, "Honey, you handled that perfectly. I'm so proud of you." Her face lit up in a way I don't see that often. It was a perfect reminder for me that I don't say it enough. I'm so proud of my kids, and I tell other people how great they are – not in an annoying way, of course. But, I'm not so quick to tell them that I'm proud of them. It's important for our children to hear us say the words. More important, perhaps, is the need for them to hear why.

5. I was wrong.

Our children need to see that we are human. Saying you were wrong and you are sorry communicates that you aren't perfect. Our kids need to know that we make mistakes, and that making mistakes is okay. Admitting you were wrong shows them the proper response to making a mistake – fessing up to it. Beyond all of that, it lays the subtle groundwork to remind them that our imperfection is the reason we are in need of a perfect Savior.

6. You were wrong.

One of the most important responsibilities we have as parents is teaching our children right from wrong. Too many children are raised without a true sense of what is right and what is wrong, and from my view, it's largely because parents aren't telling them. I've seen too many parents make excuses for their children, defend them at all costs and shield them from any negativity. When their children mess up, many parents want to find someone else responsible and shift the blame instead of facing the situation head-on. The result of a child who has never been told they are wrong is a know-it-all adult with a glass chin. We are all wrong from time-to-time. If we practice #5 and tell our children when we are wrong, it should be easier for them to do the same. It's important for them to understand that being wrong is not the problem, as much as how they respond to it.

Our words are important, especially considering the impact they can have our little ones. As parents, one of the best things we can do is remember this: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear" (Ephesians 4:29, ESV).

About The Author:

Brent Rinehart is a public relations practitioner and freelance writer. He blogs about the amazing things parenting teaches us about life, work, faith and more at apparentstuff.com.

by Alena Chapman

The ultimate truth is we have the ability to be, do and achieve anything we truly desire. Each of us has Divine Source running through us. We are connected to something so much bigger than ourselves. This is our time to shine.

Not having the awareness of this powerful truth handicaps us from achieving our full potential. Each challenge or obstacle weighs us down, instead of teaching and propelling us in our growth, waking us to blessings, beauty and true abundance. We allow outside circumstances and situations to affect how we feel and what we decide. We give our light and power away.

Sound hard to believe?

Why? Life is the choices we make and what we believe about ourselves and our world. If I accept and feel in my heart that greatness of Divine Source runs through me, that I am full of possibilities and part of something so much bigger than myself, then I shape my decisions, actions and my life on this belief. If I feel that I do not deserve better, that life is hard and everyone is out to get me, that will be my reality. It will shape my life by how I respond and act and see everyone and everything I come in contact with every day.

There is your first choice. A life full of possibility – or one that is lacking?

It really is that simple.

I had decided to break out of my feelings of isolation, hurt and anger to discover happiness and possibilities. I believed in my heart that it was possible to become that girl who once said "watch me" to any impossibility. The circumstances that entered my life gave me the opportunity to find and prove that I am that girl of achievement and happiness. I can honestly say that I would not have changed a single lesson because they not only taught me but forced me to find that inner beautiful light. My light of strength, compassion, greater knowing and understanding. Once I found my light and shined it brightly, my difficult circumstances changed into opportunities.

There was a time when two very difficult circumstances entered my life at the same time. The first was my long, eye-opening divorce after a 12-year marriage. Lawyers can be cruel and divorce is invasive and sometimes insulting. The person you loved, maybe had children with, built your whole world around has vanished. In his place is someone you do not know nor understand.

As I grieved the disappearance of that life and dealt with the normal time-consuming divorce procedures, a series of events seemed to appear out of nowhere and made life very hard for my children and our family. Every day, sometimes two or three times a day, something would occur to scare us. Men lurking in the woods behind the house watching our every move, or being followed by not one but six cars, or even being escorted out of town by two police cars and one sheriff car. I remember calling my attorney and saying, "You would think I was Princess Diana with all this attention."

Coming to terms with these two difficult circumstances can feel overwhelming. At first I was shocked. Why was this happening? All I wanted was a life full of happiness. What was the Universe thinking?

As both circumstances grew more stressful and scary, I was discovering I had to rely on what I believed, not what was happening. When I began to do this, I gained clarity and focus and things began to change for the better.

We all have times that are very difficult. When these times hit, it is hard to admit that the life we have worked to create and always believed was the right way to live is now falling apart. The dream job has turned into a nightmare. The fairy-tale wedding doesn’t have the happy ever after. Although everything we know is falling apart, it is actually an opportunity to change. How we want to change is our choice. So we must open our eyes to the truth of our situation, to the influences that may be keeping us stuck, and decide from a point of clarity, who do we want to become? Where do we want our lives to go? And what is the best way to proceed?

I think everyone must know, deep down inside, there is something better. Life is a gift. We have a purpose. It is time to believe in our dreams, ourselves and our abilities. Taking that first step out of your unhappy comfort zone is not only possible but necessary.

No one was put on this earth to live in a situation that makes someone miserable. On the contrary, we were born to be happy. It is time to gather your courage to break through and live it.

Alena Chapman is a bestselling author, mentor and speaker. She is the author of "THE PRISON EFFECT."