by John Piper

I write this on the eve of prostate surgery. I believe in God's power to heal - by miracle and by medicine. I believe it is right and good to pray for both kinds of healing. Cancer is not wasted when it is healed by God. He gets the glory and that is why cancer exists. So not to pray for healing may waste your cancer. But healing is not God's plan for everyone. And there are many other ways to waste your cancer. I am praying for myself and for you that we will not waste this pain.

1. You will waste your cancer if you do not believe it is designed for you by God.

It will not do to say that God only uses our cancer but does not design it. What God permits, he permits for a reason. And that reason is his design. If God foresees molecular developments becoming cancer, he can stop it or not. If he does not, he has a purpose. Since he is infinitely wise, it is right to call this purpose a design. Satan is real and causes many pleasures and pains. But he is not ultimate. So when he strikes Job with boils (Job 2:7), Job attributes it ultimately to God (2:10) and the inspired writer agrees: "They . . . comforted him for all the evil that the LORD had brought upon him" (Job 42:11). If you don't believe your cancer is designed for you by God, you will waste it.

2. You will waste your cancer if you believe it is a curse and not a gift.

"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). "Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us" (Galatians 3:13). "There is no enchantment against Jacob, no divination against Israel" (Numbers 23:23). "The LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly" (Psalm 84:11).

3. You will waste your cancer if you seek comfort from your odds rather than from God.

The design of God in your cancer is not to train you in the rationalistic, human calculation of odds. The world gets comfort from their odds. Not Christians. Some count their chariots (percentages of survival) and some count their horses (side effects of treatment), but we trust in the name of the LORD our God (Psalm 20:7). God's design is clear from 2 Corinthians 1:9, "We felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead." The aim of God in your cancer (among a thousand other good things) is to knock props out from under our hearts so that we rely utterly on him.

4. You will waste your cancer if you refuse to think about death.

We will all die, if Jesus postpones his return. Not to think about what it will be like to leave this life and meet God is folly. Ecclesiastes 7:2 says, "It is better to go to the house of mourning [a funeral] than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart." How can you lay it to heart if you won't think about it? Psalm 90:12 says, "Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." Numbering your days means thinking about how few there are and that they will end. How will you get a heart of wisdom if you refuse to think about this? What a waste, if we do not think about death.

5. You will waste your cancer if you think that "beating" cancer means staying alive rather than cherishing Christ.

Satan's and God's designs in your cancer are not the same. Satan designs to destroy your love for Christ. God designs to deepen your love for Christ. Cancer does not win if you die. It wins if you fail to cherish Christ. God's design is to wean you off the breast of the world and feast you on the sufficiency of Christ. It is meant to help you say and feel, "I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." And to know that therefore, "To live is Christ, and to die is gain" (Philippians 3:8; 1:21).

6. You will waste your cancer if you spend too much time reading about cancer and not enough time reading about God.

It is not wrong to know about cancer. Ignorance is not a virtue. But the lure to know more and more and the lack of zeal to know God more and more is symptomatic of unbelief. Cancer is meant to waken us to the reality of God. It is meant to put feeling and force behind the command, "Let us know; let us press on to know the LORD" (Hosea 6:3). It is meant to waken us to the truth of Daniel 11:32, "The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action." It is meant to make unshakable, indestructible oak trees out of us: "His delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers" (Psalm 1:2). What a waste of cancer if we read day and night about cancer and not about God.

7. You will waste your cancer if you let it drive you into solitude instead of deepen your relationships with manifest affection.

When Epaphroditus brought the gifts to Paul sent by the Philippian church he became ill and almost died. Paul tells the Philippians, "He has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill" (Philippians 2:26-27). What an amazing response! It does not say they were distressed that he was ill, but that he was distressed because they heard he was ill. That is the kind of heart God is aiming to create with cancer: a deeply affectionate, caring heart for people. Don't waste your cancer by retreating into yourself.

8. You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.

Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: "We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope" (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss - loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different - it is permeated with hope. "We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord" (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don't waste your cancer grieving as those who don't have this hope.

9. You will waste your cancer if you treat sin as casually as before.

Are your besetting sins as attractive as they were before you had cancer? If so you are wasting your cancer. Cancer is designed to destroy the appetite for sin. Pride, greed, lust, hatred, unforgiveness, impatience, laziness, procrastination - all these are the adversaries that cancer is meant to attack. Don't just think of battling against cancer. Also think of battling with cancer. All these things are worse enemies than cancer. Don't waste the power of cancer to crush these foes. Let the presence of eternity make the sins of time look as futile as they really are. "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?" (Luke 9:25).

10. You will waste your cancer if you fail to use it as a means of witness to the truth and glory of Christ.

Christians are never anywhere by divine accident. There are reasons for why we wind up where we do. Consider what Jesus said about painful, unplanned circumstances: "They will lay their hands on you and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors for my name's sake. This will be your opportunity to bear witness" (Luke 21:12 -13). So it is with cancer. This will be an opportunity to bear witness. Christ is infinitely worthy. Here is a golden opportunity to show that he is worth more than life. Don't waste it.

Remember you are not left alone. You will have the help you need. "My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).

© Desiring God. Website: www.desiringGod.org.

In America's families, much has been made about the effect on boys whose fathers are not around to help raise them, but Dee Louis-Scott, co-chair for the Black Family Technology Awareness Association's Youth STEM Fair, says the consequences are very tangible in the lives of girls, too.

"Even though my father was in my life until his passing, I did not understand him, and it was always an emotionally distant relationship," says Louis-Scott, author of "Believe in the Magic," (www.mattiefisher.com).

"The men I married were emotionally distant; much of my time was spent chasing their love, time and attention. The problem was that I never experienced a true partnership between a husband and wife as a girl."

New polls suggest "father hunger" is continuing to alter the family structure in the United States. A recent Associated Press poll finds 42 percent of women would consider having a child without a partner. Additionally, more than 24 million daughters and sons in America live in homes without their father, according to the U.S. Census data.

"I know fathers and mothers who are unmarried, yet both are very proactive in their children's lives and are by all accounts doing a great job with their kids," Louis-Scott says. "Unfortunately, the number of fathers living outside the home of their children often reflects a lack of participation from most of those fathers."

A girl's first love is her father, and if he has abandoned her, she will find herself in romantic relationships that are similarly unhealthy later in life, she says. While writing the book on the extraordinary life of her mother, Mattie Fisher, who was married five times and who didn't have a relationship with her father until midlife, Louis-Scott realized just how formative a father's role is in his daughter's life.

"If a father treats his daughter like a princess, she will demand better treatment in her romantic relationships," she says. "But if he treats her poorly, she will come to expect that and even seek it out in future relationships."

For women whose fathers have provided a poor example, Louis-Scott offers these relationship tips for women who want to break the cycle of unhealthy partner-seeking:

• Consider your relationship with your father: Ladies, what kind of chemistry do you have with Dad; do you even have a relationship with him? How might this be influencing your romantic decisions? Take an in-depth look at the relationship between you and your father. A painstaking review will help you avoid sabotaging a current or future romantic bond. The first (and probably the hardest thing to do) is to recognize and define the problem, if any.

• Take time for you: Get up every morning with the thought that you are rebuilding your life. Reward yourself, perhaps with a massage, a good book or a long bike ride. While reflecting in your solitude, think about the role you played in the failure of your relationship. Consider your past relationship mistakes, and be honest. Remember, as long as you make it the other person's fault, you will remain a victim.

• When you are ready, ease back in to new relationships: Take a little longer than you normally would to get to know someone. Enjoy the dates and learning about each other. See your potential partner as they are and not how you want them to be, because when we are in a low place it's easy to put a high value on a person's potential. Trying to change a man is a bad idea; relax and enjoy getting to know more about him to decide whether you're compatible just the way he is.

About Dee Louis-Scott

by Dr. James Dobson

"My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." Exodus 33:14

You don't need a license or a diploma to become a father, yet the job description is one of the toughest imaginable. According to Scripture, a father encourages and comforts his children, urging them to "live lives worthy of God" (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12). He is charged with the instruction (Proverbs 1:8-9) and discipline (Hebrews 12:10) of his offspring. He is expected to provide "good gifts" for his children (Matthew 7:9-11). Harder still, a father must not "exasperate" his children as he does these things. Instead - and most important of all - he is to "bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

In the face of these enormous responsibilities, you may feel like a high school dropout interviewing for a job as a nuclear physicist - you know that your résumé doesn't measure up! But don't be discouraged. Scripture tells us that our heavenly Father will assist us in each of life's heavy responsibilities: "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs" (Isaiah 58:11). You can depend on almighty God, the Father of all fathers, for strength in every parenting challenge - no matter what your qualifications might be.

Before you say good night…

• What are your strengths as a father?
• What areas of fatherhood do you most need to work on?
• Are you depending on God for answers to challenges with your kids?
• How can you do better in trusting the Lord as a dad?

(father) Dear Lord, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the mighty responsibilities of fatherhood. Help me to come before You daily, humbly asking for Your wisdom as I seek the best for my children. Amen.

[Editor's Note:

A joint statement on the ISIS occupation of Syriac Christian villages in north Iraq has been issued by HH Moran Mor Ignatius Aphrem II, Syriac Orthodox Patriarch of Antioch and All the East and Ignatius Youssef III Younan, Syriac Catholic Patriarch of Antioch. The statement calls the actions of ISIS a "criminal act which amounts to an ethno-religious genocide."

ISIS captured Mosul on June 10, 2014 and moved into the Nineveh Plain, a Christian stronghold in north Iraq, on August 7, causing nearly 200,000 Christians to flee their homes and villages. ISIS has also destroyed churches, monasteries and archaeological sites.]

Two Years Since the Eviction of our People from Mosul and the Nineveh Plain: the Wound of Forced Emigration Is Still Bleeding

Two years passed since the uprooting of our Syriac people from the land of our ancestors in Mosul and the Nineveh Plain, following the criminal act which amounts to an ethno-religious genocide, committed by ISIS and other terrorist groups which consider infidels all those who do not share their religion or believe in their confessional doctrines.

On June 10, 2014, our people were forced to leave Mosul. On the eve of August 7 of the same year, the uprooting continued and our people were forced to leave Qaraqosh, Bartelly, Bahzani, Bashiqa, Telosqof, Al-Qosh, Karamlis, and other villages and towns of the Nineveh Plain. They became refugees and homeless in the Kurdistan Region of Iraq and the neighboring countries of Lebanon, Jordan and Turkey.

Today, two years after the calamity that was brought upon our people, the decision-making countries and the international community remain silent and inactive towards the ethnic cleansing of a historical people who founded the civilizations of the area. We are the descendant of the martyrs who defended their faith, land and honor. They witnessed to the point of shedding their blood for its sake.

We welcome the decision of certain countries to recognize these terrorist acts as a genocide against Christians and other ethnic and religious minorities. However, we strongly denounce the absence of serious actions from the part of the international community and the Iraqi government to step up the liberation of Mosul and the villages of the Nineveh Plain from the terrorist groups. They destroyed our churches and monasteries, particularly the monastery of St. Behnam and Sarah where the tomb of the saint was bombed. They stole the properties and possessions of our people, spreading the darkness of death, destruction and moral degradation.

As spiritual fathers of this people, our hearts were pierced with pain and our eyes were filled with tears every time we visited, together and separately, our displaced children who settled in the cities and towns of the Kurdistan Region in Iraq. We observed their suffering and the lack of the most basic elements needed for a dignified life, namely housing, work, health care or education for the children. We thank the Government of the Kurdistan Region in Iraq for their efforts to offer the basic services in these difficult times. We, likewise affirm our demand for the immediate liberation of Mosul and the Nineveh Plain and the return of our sons and daughters to their land and homes. They should enjoy security and stability as well as living conditions that ensure their dignity and help them restore their trust in their country and their hope in a bright future.

Hence, we tell our spiritual children who were forced out of their homes and communities:

We are with you in every moment, we urge you to remain the shining lamp in the darkness of this tribulation, for your return to your homes will be soon. We trust the promise of the Lord that He will remain in the midst of His Church and She will never fall.

Do not lose your faith, be encouraged and remain firm in the Lord Jesus Christ Who tells us not to be afraid, saying: "Take courage, I have conquered the world" (John 16: 33).

June 10, 2016

Ignatius Aphrem II
Syriac Orthodox Patriarch of Antioch and All the East