by Arlene Pellicane

For many husbands, wives can be downright confusing. One night, a husband looks at his wife with puppy dog eyes and suggests romance. She replies in frustration, "Not tonight. Is sex all you men think about?" A few nights later in that very same bed, she might say, "You just watch TV and go to bed. Don't you find me attractive anymore?"

Another husband hears his wife complaining about her need to exercise. He buys her a gym membership. And that's when the fight begins!

There are countless times in marriage when a husband and wife get their wires crossed. No wonder men are confused about how to make their wife happy! Efforts to make your wife happy may seem to backfire more often than not. Although the mystery between men and women is sure to continue, here are ten proven activities to make your wife happy:

1. Make talk time a daily habit.

Don't allow yourself to become so busy that you can't spend 15 minutes a day talking with your wife. By the way, the last 15 minutes of your day when you're utterly exhausted don't count. If possible, use dinnertime as a place for conversation. If dinner doesn't work, maybe it's a five minute phone call at lunch and 10 minutes sitting on the sofa in the evening.

2. Act interested in what your wife has to say.

Notice I wrote "act." I know the things we wives talk about can be boring, long-winded, dramatic or illogical (or all of the above). But if you simply act as if you care about what we're saying, it means the world to us. Just picture yourself in a board room listening to a boring presentation by your boss. You would still act interested out of respect for your boss. Act interested in your wife's comments, not always because the conversation is riveting, but because you love your wife.

3. Hug, cuddle, and kiss throughout the day.

Remember the affectionate way you would hold her hand, put your arms around her waist, and kiss her softly while you were engaged? Do that again and again. Remind yourself to romance and court her physically with a steady flow of affection. But remember, the goal of all your hugging and cuddling isn't to have sex that night. It's simply to be physically close (which will naturally lead to more sex throughout the week).

4. Write her a love note.

It doesn't have to be pure poetry to make her heart flutter. Write down the things you appreciate about her. Why are you glad you married her? Did she do something last week that you really liked? How is she doing a good job as a mother?

5. Take her on a coffee date.

Let her know you want to hear all the details of her day over a nice, hot cup of coffee. If you have younger children, arrange for someone to watch the kids for an hour or two. On the date, hold her hand, open the door for her, and brag about her to the barista.

6. Tell her she looks beautiful.

What's a common question that little girls ask? Do I look beautiful daddy? It's a question that grown women still wonder about. Women tend to be hard on themselves regarding their looks. We are afraid we don't measure up in your sight. But if you look into your wife's eyes and tell her she is beautiful, you will make her day!

7. Help with the household duties.

If you want to make your wife mad, say something like "Oh, I see you're doing your annual vacuuming" (I know this from personal experience). But if you pick up around the house, help in the kitchen, and yes even vacuum without being asked, your wife will be incredibly thankful.

8. Notice what she worries about and reassure her.

Your wife is a security seeker. Maybe she's worried about an upcoming move, a child's development, or financial pressures. Strengthen yourself first in the Lord so you can then encourage your wife. Hold her and reassure her often that everything is going to be okay.

9. Bring her an unexpected gift.

Most women love gifts and it doesn't really matter whether they come in small or big packages. Surprise her with a just-because bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates. Maybe she's compiling a wish list online of things she wants. Take a peek and surprise her with one item from her list.

10. Open up to her about yourself.

The strong, silent type works in the movies, but not in real life. Your wife wants to hear about your life. She wants to know what is making you happy and what is stressing you out. This is how she connects with you. She actually cares about what you had for lunch and the strange thing you saw on the way home. Don't reply to your wife's questions with one word answers. Elaborate.

Which of these activities do you think your wife would enjoy? If you're not sure, you can always ask her. She'll love that you were reading an article about how to make her happy!

About The Author:

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of '31 Days to a Happy Husband' and '31 Days to a Younger You'. She has been a guest on Family Life Today, The 700 Club, Turning Point with David Jeremiah, and The Hour of Power. Arlene and her husband James live in San Diego with their three children.

By JT Waresak

We live in a day where respect of others is a dying character trait. Why do we think that bullying and social media rants are so pervasive in our culture today? There's no respect of others. Really, it's just the opposite-most people only think of themselves. Yet, it doesn't need to be this way.

I believe that respect is only found when there is love. If we live and teach our children the two greatest commandments–to love God and to love others, respect of others will become intertwined within their developing character traits.

As dads, we can raise a generation of girls and boys that respect others. Yet, it starts with us and our willingness to proactively engage the hearts and minds of our children. Here are seven ways to teach our children how to respect others that I've gleaned from friends and my own parenting experiences.

7 Ways to Teach Our Kids Respect:

1. Teach them that all of human life is created in God's image and is precious.

This is an essential teaching we must communicate to our children at a very young age and is paramount to learning and living a life that loves and respects others. It also establishes in their own minds that they are uniquely created by God with His fingerprints all over them, and God doesn't make mistakes. This is why I love Steven Curtis Chapman's song, Fingerprints of God (every child is a masterpiece of God). If you've never listened to it with your children–do it. I would sing this all the time to my kids, which reminds me it's been too long since I last serenaded them. If our children value their own lives and the lives of others, love and respect will be a natural outflow of who they are and how they live.

2. Live it.

Like everything else in life, our children will learn to respect others by watching our lives. Dads, if we treat our wives disrespectfully, our children will follow suit. Sadly, this generational cycle of sin is repeated too many times in our marriages. This also holds true for how we treat all people. Regardless of our differences with the surrounding culture or certain individuals, we are called as Christians to carry ourselves like Christ-embracing and exuding both grace and truth. If our children witness this first-hand on a regular basis, it will become their foundation as well.

Dads, words are cheap. Our actions mean everything. As I remind myself often, God doesn't want me to beat myself up. He wants me to look more like His Son on a daily basis. One verse that drives this reality home for me is Ephesians 5:25. If my children see me loving my wife as Christ loved His church, they will begin to understand what it means to respect someone.

3. Never discipline your child through anger.

Always discipline your child through love. This is not an easy one. I've failed with this one many times over the years. However, my adult children in their 20's know without a doubt there is nothing they can do to lessen or increase my love for them. They know that after God and then my wife, they are the greatest loves of my life. Every son and daughter needs to know this. As shared, that love is interwoven within the fibers of what it means to respect someone. As Christians, this is who we are and one of the greatest life lessons we can teach our children.

4. Don't negate or make light of your child's feelings.

This is yet another area I constantly need to watch when helping my children through difficulties or challenging moments in their lives. My wife does this very well. She bleeds empathy for our kids and has taught me a lot over the years. I often joke with my older children that they helped make me a better dad for my younger ones. Yet, even now when my six-year-old is crying over something that seems trivial to me, I need to remind myself that, to her, it's a big deal. I need to take the time to just listen to her express her feelings (not necessarily try to fix it). I have learned that after listening to her, a hug is often what she needs most from me!

5. Look for ways to build them up.

One of our memory verses we continually revisit as a family is Ephesians 4:29, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." (ESV). This hits at the core of what it means to actively respect someone. It's our jobs as dads to build our kids up in Christ. It's a lot easier to respect others when you've been raised in a household that fosters an environment of encouragement. This is another reason why memorizing Scripture is a must for every father out there. Speaking God's Words into the hearts and minds of our sons and daughters is one of the best ways to build them up, i.e. train, encourage and equip them.

6. Teach them the joy in serving others.

By focusing on the needs of others, our children learn that life is not all about them. It's hard not to show respect to someone if you're looking out for their best interest. I also believe God has wired us to enjoy helping others, especially when we're using our unique gifts and skill sets. We do our best to include our children in age-appropriate chores around the house–washing the dishes, taking out the garbage, cleaning their rooms, etc... We have also taken our children along on ministry events through our church and also our own ministry opportunities, i.e. short-term mission trips, community outreach, and ministry conferences/retreats. Over the years, they've learned first-hand the joy that comes when we serve others.

7. Pray with your children and for your children.

Another core trait, alongside love, that compels the ability to respect those around you is humility. Without love and humility, our children will never learn how to respect others. Through our prayer life, we demonstrate to our children that we are totally dependent upon God. In a very real way, the act of prayer demonstrates our greatest respect for God as we humble ourselves before Him. At bedtime, I pray with my children and then I pray for them. I want them to hear my neediness before God and their father's blessings upon their lives. I specifically pray that God will work in their hearts and minds to make them children that love Him and love others.

I always tell people that the man that raised my eldest son, now 23 years old, is not the same man that is raising my six-year-old daughter. I am a different man. By God's grace and the help of my wife, older children, friends and mentors, my little girl will know a dad that pursues these seven examples and many more on a regular basis. I'll never get it all perfect, but I will do my best to teach her how to love and respect others, and perhaps God will use her someday to change the world.

"But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect."
- 1 Peter 3:15 ESV

About The Author:

JT Waresak has been involved in family ministry for the past decade and serves as the Digital Director at Family Talk. He is a graduate of Grace Theological Seminary and has authored several books on the topic of fatherhood, marriage and missional living. See JT's recent children's book, 'Justin's Adventure', a project dedicated to building biblical manhood and womanhood into the hearts and minds of our children.

By Jack Welch

Not long ago, I co-hosted CNBC's Squawk Box with Under Armour CEO Kevin Plank. A lot was debated that day, but at one point, Kevin offered the opinion, "Micromanagement is vastly underrated." I think a few others on the set were a little taken aback given the bad rap micromanagement often gets, but I wasn't among them. In fact, I totally agree.

Look, we all know jerk bosses who stick their nose into every little thing their people are doing, and basically try to drive the bus from the back seat. We also know perfectly good bosses who do the same kind of thing for a different and legitimate reason -- because they know the people doing the real work aren't yet ready to do it themselves.

Let's put aside those two situations, and talk about the much more common occurrence of bosses who get deeply involved in the day-to-day work of employees who are capable and competent.

And let me repeat myself: of that I approve.

Because micromanaging is a paradox, just like so many challenges inherent to getting business right. Think about balancing long-term goals and short-term needs. Or giving a star performer the correct amount of praise versus challenge. These are all judgment calls, based on the situation and the individuals and the market context.

And so it is with micromanaging. As a manager, you have to take what I call the "accordion approach." Get very close to your people and their work when they need you - that is, when your help matters - and pull back when you're extraneous.

Now what do I mean by "when your help matters?" That's the key question, and I'd answer it as follows: Your help matters when you bring unique expertise to a situation, or you can expedite things by dint of your authority, or both. Your help matters when you have highly relevant experience that no one else on the team brings, and your presence sets an example of best practices - and prevents costly mistakes. Your help matters when it signals the organization's priorities, as in, "Hey, we have high hopes for this new initiative. That's why I'm in the weeds with it." Your help matters when you have a long relationship with, say, a customer or a potential partner, and your being at the table changes the game.

In such situations, you have to micromanage. It's your responsibility. Just as it's every employee's responsibility to help the organization win.

Micromanaging only stinks when bosses do it because they have nothing better to do, or they're constitutionally unable to trust people, employees included. I'd never support that.

Ultimately, knowing how and when to micromanage comes down to engagement. If you really know your people and their skills - as you should - and you're in their skin about their passions and concerns - as you should be - you will know when to "squeeze the accordion" and draw close.

Similarly, you'll know when to pull away and give them space. When your level of micromanaging grows out of strong, vibrant engagement with your people, have no fear. When you get involved, your team will know you're in it for them. And when you step back, they'll be in it for you too.

About The Author:

by John O'Leary, Rising Above

"All of us, at certain moments of our lives, need to take advice and to receive help from other people."
- Alexis Carrel

Have you ever noticed that everyone loves giving advice?

We get it from our parents and teachers, from our coaches and friends, yes, even from our spouses and children! I've discovered, though, that when we're open to it, advice from others can absolutely change our lives. As a little guy, I received some sage advice that still resonates today.

After being burned, I spent 18 weeks in the hospital. The week before being released, one of the doctors, who had worked so diligently during my recovery, came into my room. He sat on my bed and told me this was his last day at the hospital as he was moving to Florida.

Dr. Vitale shared that my recovery was miraculous; he'd never seen anything like it in his entire career. He continued, "as difficult as the past four months had been, the journey forward would be equally as challenging." He added, "John, do you know that you can still do almost anything you want in your life?"

I remember saying, "Yes." Yet, after losing my fingers to amputation, covered from head to toes in bandages, tied down to a hospital bed and unable to walk, I didn't really feel like I could do anything.

Dr. Vitale continued, "John, you may not be able to be a court reporter, but you can be a lawyer or a judge. You may not be able to play baseball again, but you can be a manager or own the team. You may not be able to be a carpenter, but you can be a general contractor and build incredible things. John, if you want to get married and raise kids and have an incredible life: you can! You are a remarkable little boy, you can still live an amazing life, and the best is yet to come for you."

That advice was offered to me more than 25 years ago! And although, I've never shared this conversation with anyone before today, his words have resonated loudly throughout my life. In good times and during the challenging days, the reminder that 'the best is yet to come' has propelled me forward. This concept has resonated so loudly with me, you may have noticed, I actually close most of my emails with that very phrase: "Remember, the best is yet to come."

Jacob, I want you to recognize the relevance of this story in your life. First, please know that advice you offer to others may not seem to be received by them. But understand that sometimes, like anything truly worthwhile, it just takes time to fully grow. Sometimes it takes consistency and encouragement and years. But know that, when the student is ready, the teacher appears and the lesson resonates.

Second, that little nine-year-old boy needed loving advice; he needed the reminder that there is reason for hope. That same little boy - who now writes newsletters, speaks internationally, is married, has children, is wildly busy and extremely blessed - still needs advice today.

My challenge to you today is this: be open to the advice that comes into your life. You may not solicit it, you may not want it and it may not even be something you agree with. But in taking advice and receiving perspective from others we can more fully appreciate where we are and what remains possible in our lives.

Now let me give you some advice I received as a child that still resonates with me: in spite of your current challenges, the best is yet to come.