By Eric Scalise, Ph.D.

Editor's Note: In the last issue, we published the Part 1 of this article If you haven't read it, you can find 30 Days To A Stronger Marriage - Part One HERE.

We now continue our journey through the "one another's" of the New Testament, with the admonishment to put faith into action when it comes to our marriages. Part Two covers the final 15 verses (from the NASB). As before, take a moment and read each passage in context. Then, prayerfully ask God for how He wants you to respond to His commandment. Communicate this intentionally and as a blessing to your spouse…in word and in deed.

Day 16: "…be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord." Eph. 5:19

There are so many things we can be filled with at any given moment. Yet, the Spirit of God who dwells in us, longs to give praise and worship to the Creator. What is the melody of your heart or the beauty found in His Word? Share it, speak it, write it, and sing it to the one you love.

Day 17: "…and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." Eph. 5:21

We humans can be so independent. Surrender is not a popular word to be found in our personal or daily lexicon. There is a subtle, but significant difference between "being subject to" and "being subjected to." One is a choice. Where would God have you yield today in love?

Day 18: "…put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other…" Col. 3:12-13

Forbearance is defined as the capacity to maintain patient self-control, restraint and tolerance in a situation or with another person. We often convince ourselves of our "rights" in the marriage, especially when we are wronged. Be determined to have a refraining heart today.

Day 19: "Regard one another as more important than yourself." Phil. 2:3

We all have needs and wants and they can be critically important at any given time. "Deferring" to your spouse on a matter is a way of "preferring" your spouse and focusing on his or her priorities. Will you delay and postpone gratification so that you may show favor and blessing?

Day 20: "And may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another." 1 Thess. 3:12

There are dates and then there are cheap dates. God has given us the greatest of gifts—forgiveness, salvation and eternal life. His example encourages us to love with abundance—freely, lavishly, bountifully and without measure. Start from the moment you wake up.

Day 21: "Comfort one another with these words." 1 Thess. 4:18

Grief, pain and loss are all too familiar on this side of eternity. We live in a broken world. Most of us long for the day when we will be with God, where He will end all suffering, wipe every tear away and comfort our hearts. How can you bring a little bit of heaven to your spouse?

Day 22: "Encourage one another." 1 Thess. 5:11

To encourage means giving the courage needed in times of trial and adversity. It is also a way to provide support, confidence and hope. Are you your spouse's biggest cheerleader? Today is the day to champion your loved one… to celebrate, inspire, motivate and uplift him or her in Christ.

Day 23: "Live in peace with one another." 1 Thess. 5:13

Merely tolerating someone or a situation is entirely different than pursuing harmony with those we are closest to. Resonance implies that one object will take on the attributes of another in close proximity. What measure of peace is within you that will transform your marriage?

Day 24: "…and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds…" Heb. 10:24

Stimulation typically increases interest and activity. It often revives, refreshes, restores and reinvigorates something that has been stagnant and dying. Living water is moving water—it flows freely. What needs to be released to make a difference in the name of love and action?

Day 25: "Do not complain, brethren, against one another…" James 5:9

Tearing down and tearing apart are much easier than building up and building together. For every expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance with your spouse, consider offering ten affirmations. How will you exchange the complaint for a compliment, the grievance for grace?

Day 26: "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed." James 5:13

For some, the thought of complete transparency produces an anxious heart. We fear failure and/or rejection. Yet, exchanges between a husband and wife, from soul to soul and spirit to spirit, create the deepest intimacy. Will you trust your spouse today? Will you trust God today?

Day 27: "Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sin." 1 Pet. 4: 8

Marriage and passion are like fire. They require fuel and they need constant tending. The nature of fire is to consume whatever is there and then it will self-extinguish. What will you kindle in your marriage today that will keep your love hot, burning and full of Christlikeness?

Day 28: "Be hospitable to one another without complaint." 1 Pet. 4:9

Everyone knows what it's like to feel welcomed and embraced by another. Is your spouse also your best friend? Do you genuinely enjoy each other's company? Do you laugh and play well together? Consider a generous dose of warmth, openness and positive regard today.

Day 29: "As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God." 1 Pet. 4:10

Stewardship means that something of value has been entrusted to us by another. It belongs to the Master, but is usually for a greater purpose. We are expected to manage our time, talent, and treasure with faithfulness. What is in your hand? How will you invest it in your marriage?

Day 30: "…and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another…" 1 Pet. 5:5

In God's upside down kingdom, humility - the epitome of the lowest place - is in actuality, the highest place. Clothes are used to cover the "flesh." They are what is seen and more often than not, make a statement to others. What does your spouse see? May it be a humble meekness.

About The Author:

Eric Scalise, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT, is the Vice President for Professional Development with the American Association of Christian Counselors. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with over 34 years of clinical and professional experience in the mental health field. As the former Dept. Chair of Counseling Programs at Regent University, Dr. Scalise provides academic oversight as the Vice President for Academic Affairs with Light University Online.

By Dr. James Dobson

Question: You've been happily married for more than fifty years now. Have you ever been tempted to be unfaithful to your wife? What are the danger points that those of us who are younger should watch for?

Answer: Honestly, I have never even considered cheating on Shirley. The very thought of hurting her and inviting God's judgment is more than enough to keep me on the straight and narrow. Furthermore, I would never destroy the specialness we shared for all these years. But even marriages that are based on that kind of commitment are not immune to Satan's attacks.

He laid a trap for me during a time of particular vulnerability. Shirley and I had been married just a few years when we had a minor fuss. It was no big deal, but we both were pretty agitated at the time. I got in the car and drove around for about an hour to cool off. Then when I was on the way home, a very attractive girl drove up beside me in her car and smiled. She was obviously flirting with me. Then she slowed down, looked back, and turned onto a side street. I knew she was inviting me to follow her.

I didn't take the bait. I just went on home and made up with Shirley. But I thought later about how vicious Satan had been to take advantage of the momentary conflict between us. The Scriptures refer to the devil as "a roaring lion" seeking whom he may devour" (1 Peter 5:8, KJV). I could see how true that description really is. He knew his best opportunity to damage our marriage was during that hour or two when we were irritated with each other. That is typical of his strategy. He'll lay a trap for you, too, and it'll probably come at a time of vulnerability. Beautiful, enticing, forbidden fruit will be offered to you when your hunger is greatest. If you are foolish enough to reach for it, your fingers will sink into the rotten mush on the back side. That's the way sin operates in our lives. It promises everything. It delivers nothing but disgust and heartache.

From Dr. Dobson's book, 'The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide'.

About The Author:

Dr. James Dobson is the Founder and President of Family Talk, a nonprofit organization that produces his radio program, "Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk." He is the author of more than 30 books dedicated to the preservation of the family, including The New Dare to Discipline; Love for a Lifetime; Life on the Edge; Love Must Be Tough; The New Strong-Willed Child; When God Doesn’t Make Sense; Bringing Up Boys; Marriage Under Fire; Bringing Up Girls; and, most recently, Head Over Heels.

Dr. Dobson served as an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of Southern California School of Medicine for 14 years and on the attending staff of Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles for 17 years. ...

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. - 1 Corinthians 16:13

Researcher Spencer Silver from 3M was curious about what would happen if he mixed an unusual amount of monomer into a polymer-based adhesive he was working on. The result was an adhesive that would "tack" one piece of paper to another and even re-stick, without leaving any residue on the second piece of paper.

The company had no use for the new adhesive until 3M chemist Arthur Fry began having problems in the choir loft. The slips of paper he used to mark pages in his hymnal often fluttered to the floor, leaving him frantically searching for his place. Then he remembered Silver's adhesive. Fry's better bookmark soon metamorphosed into the handy Post-it Notes that have become a fixture in offices throughout the world.

It's very often true in life that some of the greatest things are born out of challenges. Had Arthur Fry not have reached a point of frustration with his hymnal, offices all over the globe today might not be filled with those florescent little sticky notes that have now become so commonplace.

Instead of giving up when you encounter a challenge or a struggle in your life, find out what God is doing. Seek Him and ask Him what He wants to accomplish through it. Because when you have the courage to face life's challenges head-on, you never know the impact it will have!

Prayer Challenge

Pray that God would give you the courage not to back down when challenges come your way.

Questions for Thought

As you look back at your life up to now, have you typically seen challenges as something to be avoided or embraced? Why is that?

What tangible steps can you take to become more resilient in the face of life's challenges?

by Walk Thru the Bible

Greg had prayed for God's blessings and favor when he got out of college, and God had certainly answered. Greg had been given a beautiful family, and his career had taken off dramatically. He rose from entry level to executive in the short space of seven years, and people in the industry began calling him flattering things like "wunderkind" and "prodigy." He had proven himself capable beyond his peers and wise beyond his years.

So Greg began to lead seminars and write books about the keys to his success. His already-generous income more than doubled from his international speaking fees. He became widely recognized as a "how to" expert, a motivator, and a life coach. A few best-sellers later, his family was able to buy several homes in several countries. He was credited with more talent and skill and ingenuity than anyone around. Yes, he was truly a self-made man.

But self-made men eventually suffer the consequences of poor construction, and a series of misfortunes left Greg virtually bankrupt. His books ended up in bargain bins, his seminars were suddenly "cliché," and his family hardly knew the man who had always been too busy to spend time with them. And Greg found himself exactly where he began when he was fresh out of college: on his knees asking for Gods blessings and favor.

It's a common dynamic, isn't it? We ask God for help, and he gives it. The Holy Spirit fills us with himself, and then we take credit for his gifts. Once we experience success, whether in the big-ticket items like career and family or the smaller victories of life, we develop a sense of independence. We start patting ourselves on the back for being so competent or wise or well-positioned. And then when our mini-kingdom crumbles, we fall on our knees again and ask God for help.

That's how it was for Solomon. He began his reign with a sincere plea for God's wisdom and favor. Somewhere along the way, that sense of dependence began to erode. The turning point in his life, although there were earlier signs, seems to be after the temple and palace were built. Over the course of years that it took to build those landmark structures, his focus on God's glory seems to have evolved into a focus on his own glory. And things were never the same again.

Early in his reign, Solomon had heard God's voice at Gibeon. The king had wisely asked for wisdom, and God promised all that and more. In 1 Kings 9, Solomon heard that voice again - a similar message, but this time with much stronger warnings. There were far more "ifs" in this vision, as well as some explicitly stated consequences for idolatry. The future would be bright if Solomon remained faithful. God assured Solomon that worshiping other gods would ruin Israel's relationship with him, and the place of his presence would be demolished. It's clear that the existence of the temple itself wouldn't guarantee the spiritual maturity of his people. In Israel's life and in ours, the current presence of the Lord never guarantees his future presence.

The Lord's warning wasn't just a precautionary safeguard. It was a rather timely admonition. The glory of Solomon's kingdom had begun to overshadow his sense of dependence. He was in danger of self-sufficiency, which always creates distance in a relationship with God. The warning he received reminded him that God's people are not defined by a magnificent building, even one in which God's presence dwells. They are defined by his calling and his Word. Only when they stick to truth will they be blessed.

At the dedication of the temple in 1 Kings 8 (and also 2 Chronicles 5), Solomon had offered lengthy prayers full of references to both the blessings and the dangers of God's presence. Being called by him has enormous benefits and enormous costs. The stakes are always high. The cloud of glory that filled the temple was both beautiful and frightening. These are the two sides of chosenness: amazing privilege and awesome responsibility. The king would soon feel the sharpness of this two-edged calling in his encounter with God at Gibeon. Before long, so would the entire nation. Israel discovered over the next two idolatry-riddled centuries that the cost of discipleship was high, but the cost of non-discipleship was even higher.

That's a profound lesson for us. Our dependence on God brings enormous blessings into our lives, but when those blessings cause us to forget our original dependence, we miss out on the ways God wants to continue to bless us. We lose sight of his presence and, like Solomon, turn away from pure devotion to him. Solomon ended up worshiping at pagan altars and wondering why life seemed so empty, not because his wisdom wasn't valid, but because he "outgrew" his dependence on God. He lost his focus.

How can we avoid that? By always being desperate for God, even in our times of abundance. We never really outgrow our dependence on him. The very attitudes that put us in a position to receive his blessings are the attitudes that keep us in that position. Do we really want God to continue to lift us up? Then we need to approach him with a lowly, humble attitude and never forget our absolute need to depend on him.