Ingredients:

500 g (1 lb) stewing steak
5 red or green chillies
1 large onion, roughly chopped
1 teaspoon chopped garlic
1 teaspoon chopped fresh ginger
1/4 cup (1 oz) roasted peanuts
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 cup (8 fl oz) warm water
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1 tablespoon light soy sauce
3 daun salam or curry leaves

Directions:

Cut meat into 5 cm (2 in) squares. Into container of electric blender put chillies, onion, garlic, ginger, peanuts, nutmeg, black pepper, salt and lemon juice. Blend to a paste, adding a little warm water to facilitate blending.

Heat oil in a saucepan, add contents of blender and cook for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Add meat and cook for a further 5 minutes.

Add soy sauce, daun salam/curry leaves and rest of warm water. Stir well, cover and simmer until meat is tender and oil comes to the top. Stir occasionally to prevent meat sticking to base of saucepan.

Adjust seasoning and serve with hot rice.

by Brent Rinehart

We spend billions each year on our appearance. Gym memberships, dieting programs that may or may not work, new clothes and more. Don't get me wrong, we should care how we look. But, what do our marriages look like? More importantly, where does our marital health rank on the list of To-Do's? Instead of our bodies and physical appearance being top priorities, what if we put that focus on our marriages instead?

The hardest part of parenting, that no one seems to want to warn you about, is the strain children have on your marriage. Children can come between you and your spouse. For us, it's quite literal. I can't seem to hug my wife without my 4-year-old butting in between us to make a "sandwich."

As the years go by, the children naturally become our focus, making it easy to lose sight of each other. We don't take the time or energy necessary to stay connected.

But, this trend can be stopped if you give your marriage a "check up." I believe there are seven words that, if applied to our marriages, have the power to make this year the best year we have ever experienced as a couple.

1. Initiate.

Remember the courtship? Make an effort to woo your spouse all over again. So many marriages fall apart because people just stop trying.

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it" (Proverbs 3:27).

2. Prioritize.

What is your top priority? It's where you devote the majority of your time or energy. Turn off the television and put down your iPhone. Your email and updating your Facebook status can wait.

"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves" (Philippians 2:3).

3. Communicate.

In a successful marriage, you have to fight the urge to sweep things under the rug. Don't allow things to fester. Instead, keep an open line of communication. When we have "sounding boards" who aren't our spouses, sure, we might feel a little better, but we are doing nothing to actually resolve situations or improve our relationship.

"From a wise mind comes careful and persuasive speech" (Proverbs 16:23).

4. Listen.

The most important part of communicating doesn't involve speaking; it's listening. Your spouse wants to be heard. How can you know what he or she is feeling if you don't take the time to listen. All too often, many of us are too quick to interject before the person is even finished speaking.

"…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger" (James 1:19).

5. Forgive.

Don't hold onto things. You only harm yourself. When your spouse does something, refer to #3 and #4. Then, let it go. Forgive them and move on.

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts … and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive" (Colossians 3:12-13).

6. Love.

Without love, there is no marriage. And, that's why we must keep the spark alive. This year, set aside more time to date your spouse. And, when you are out, try your best to make sure the kids or grandkids aren't the primary topic of conversation.

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony" (Colossians 3:14).

7. Pray.

It has been said that a successful marriage consists of three people: husband, wife and God. Involve Him more, even in the so-called "little things."

"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!" (I Chronicles 16:11)

Let's resolve together to focus on our relationships more than ourselves this year, and watch how God will bless the efforts. What words would you add to this list?

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An original version of this article was published in the January 2014 issue of Journey Christian News. Used with permission.

About The Author:

Brent Rinehart is a public relations practitioner and freelance writer. He blogs about the amazing things parenting teaches us about life, work, faith and more.

by Mark Ford

I like to think of myself as an amiable guy, but I wouldn't claim to be charismatic.

Charismatic is an adjective I'd apply to someone like Jay Leno or Tony Robbins.

Bill Clinton is supposed to be very charismatic. I know die-hard conservatives who changed their views about him after speaking with him for just five minutes.

Wouldn't it be great to have that kind of effect on people? Wouldn't it feel good to know you have the ability to make everyone you meet like you and want to work with you?

A few years ago, such a man came into my office.

He took over managing my bond account after my longtime account manager retired. I didn't want to like this young upstart because I resented it when my old account manager left. I felt (irrationally) abandoned.

But within five minutes, we were talking about cigars and martial arts. By the time he left a half-hour later (we were scheduled to meet for only 15 minutes), I'd promised him more of my business. I'd also given him a copy of my latest book… and a $20 cigar!

He should've given me a cigar. But that's the power of charisma.

Many salespeople are charismatic. You meet them. You like them. You buy from them… even when they don't have the best product or the best pricing.

Charismatic people seem to be born that way. They have an uncanny natural ability to sell almost anything, including their ideas. They don't follow the usual rules. They smile a lot. They chat a lot.

Do they have skills the rest of us - the non-gifted lot - can learn?

Absolutely.

Here are 15 ways you can become more charismatic and get more out of all your business relationships.

Most of them are based on principles identified by Dr. Robert Cialdini in his book, 'Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion'.

1. People tend to do business with people they like. So, behave in a way that makes you likable. Dale Carnegie noted people like to talk about themselves. Whenever possible, direct the conversation away from yourself and toward the person whom you want to endear.

2. People want to associate with people they respect and admire. It's difficult to get respect when you act or speak rudely. Be polite and patient. Avoid being crude, rude, gruff, or impatient. And be kind to waiters.

3. People feel comfortable doing business with people who keep their word. That means when you make a promise, do exactly what you promised. Do it by the deadline you promised - or sooner.

4. People trust people who are open and honest, especially about their own shortcomings. Resist the urge to be more than you are. Speak confidently about what you know. Be prompt in saying, "I don't know," when you don't.

5. People buy from - and invest money in - people who have their best interests at heart. Don't try to make everyone your customer or client. When you can't help someone, say so. When you can, explain how - in terms of their benefits, not yours.

6. People want to take advice from experts, not amateurs or pretenders. You can't be an expert in everything. Narrow your profession down to what you know. As your expertise grows, you can grow your field of business. But don't pretend to be able to do something well.

7. People feel comfortable entrusting their money to people who are honest, ethical, and aboveboard. So, don't lie about your products and/or services… and especially not about your fees and commissions.

8. People can be bullied, but they'll resent it - even if they're bullied into doing something good for them. Use persuasion, not power, to get people to do what's best for themselves.

9. People are drawn to people who are physically attractive (or not physically repulsive, at least). So, eat right. Exercise. Stay fit. Dress well. Be well-groomed. And pay attention to your personal hygiene.

10. People feel better with people who seem to be "real." The best way to show you're a regular person is to be cordial, friendly, and avoid pretensions of every sort. Don't pretend to be interested in baseball if you're not. Don't talk about Broadway and ballet when the other person is a baseball fan.

11. People respond to people who listen and pay attention to what they're saying. Remember the old cliché: You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you talk.

12. People feel comfortable with people who are like them in some ways. You don't have to be much like them, just a little. The trick here is to identify one thing you have in common with the other person. It could be golf, kids, pets, or anything else. Then, use that as an anchor to create a connection between you.

13. People are attracted to accomplished people… and even more so when accomplished people are humble. When you talk about your accomplishments, do so in a way that lets others know you don't think you're all that special. You should do that for another reason, too: You're not.

14. People are impressed by people who are productive. That's why you should never attempt to get business by telling a prospective customer things are slow and you need the work.

15. People can be fooled sometimes, but not every time. And not forever. Therefore, in practicing the skills listed above, practice them sincerely.

Which of these people-pleasing skills do you already have? Congratulate yourself for acquiring them. Then, continue to practice them.

Which ones do you still need to develop? You can't do it overnight, but you can - and should - work on them over time.

by Judy O'Beirn

"There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Winnie the Pooh

Tears streamed down my face as I once again said goodbye to my soul mate. I had cried often and long in the past five years but this time the tears were in celebration, born of a commitment I made to my husband, Gerry, on the eve of his passing, my commitment that I would honor him by writing a book about his own amazing strength. I was standing on a stage, listening to a beautiful song, dedicated to him, surrounded by twenty-one of my co-authors along with family and friends. We were celebrating the birth of our amazing book, 'Unwavering Strength'. We did it! I did it!

It was a celebration in more ways than merely the launch of a book. It was the first time I remember ever stepping into my own light. It was the first time I'd stepped onto a stage, without panicking or wanting to run in the opposite direction. I'd spent my entire life as an introvert, avoiding attention at almost any cost. Yet, here I was basking in the attention, reveling in it, and I truly didn't want it to stop. Although this surprised my friends and family, it surprised me even more.

In less than five years, I had lost my soul mate, Gerry, my mother Rita, Gerry's sister Evelyn Mills, another of his sisters, Marlene Long, my daughter's best friend, Carrie Ough, and my dog, Snickers, all to cancer. And, in the middle of all this, I lost my corporate job that I'd had for fifteen years.

To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I remember the moment I realized I would be sitting at an empty table, with none of them alive to share breakfast with at our long-standing Saturday morning ritual. I felt a myriad of emotions, but the overwhelming feeling was of loneliness. At perhaps my lowest point, I made the decision that I would not bury myself in my loneliness but instead I began to pour all of my energy into sharing my story with others who were also facing challenges. Surprisingly, I found that sharing my story helped others with their own healing, enabling me to grow, heal and transform as well.

Did I have a choice but to accept what was happening in my life? Resisting wouldn't change it and somehow even though I had lost so much, I needed to find a way to carry on. The commitment I'd made to Gerry to write a book to honor his own amazing strength, motivated me to do this. I needed to find a way to face my moments of fear and to be okay with them. To overcome my challenges and find what worked best for me.

Here's a simple exercise that ultimately helped me face my worst moments of fear. I would look up at the marquee and then in my mind say the word "courage". Not just once or twice, but a minimum of five times slowly. What I discovered was that I only needed about twenty seconds of courage to get past the initial fear, and I knew I could do anything for twenty seconds. I would say out loud, "I can do twenty seconds." Then holding the word "courage" in my mind I could move on. The energy of the word "courage", coupled with the "zinger knowledge" of only twenty seconds needed, empowered me and propelled me forward.

It was a simple process: look up, repeat the word courage at least five times, remember I only needed 20 seconds, and then walk forward.

This process helped me move through the waves of grief, allowing me to continue moving forward in my desire to help others. This resulted in the creation of the Unwavering Strength books. All stories of real people who faced serious loss and painful adversity but did much more than live to tell about it. All of them found the strength and courage to carry on and in the process, each uncovered a source of inner strength. This inner strength is what I call unwavering strength. It is about facing even our darkest hours and remaining strong.

One of the amazing Ambassadors that I came across is Michael Jordan Segal. There is no doubt that Michael overcame all odds and found his own internal strength to beat the odds. He shares his story of how being in the wrong place at the wrong time forever changed his life. After being shot in the head in a random gas station robbery, he was told that his life as he knew it, was over. But with extraordinary strength and perseverance, Michael went on to graduate from college with the highest of honors and now enjoys a successful and fulfilling career as a social worker, author and popular inspirational speaker. Michael says, "Succeeding in life is not vital – TRYING is!"

Dina Proctor shares her story of how she courageously overcame major depression and alcoholism, teaching us that sometimes our lowest points can turn into tremendous gifts that lead us down our own road of personal transformation. She learned that anything she wanted to create in her external world was easy to achieve if she worked from the inside out. She developed a meditation technique that enabled her to transform every aspect of her life. And it worked.

Peggy McColl found herself at the lowest point in her life and shares with you the tools that saved her: tools that allow her to continue to live the life of her dreams. She explains in great detail that she began with constructing a power life script. She then decided to track her results using a journal and followed with writing a mission statement. Next step in her journey was writing her first goal card. When she had really applied these concepts to turn her life around, they helped her to create the life of her dreams. Now she wants to help you create the life of your dreams.

Knowing my husband is watching over me and cheering as I move forward to overcome my deep feelings of loss and almost paralyzing fear is a precious gift. When I focus on helping others, I simply cannot be focused on my own loss or loneliness.

About The Author: