Malankara World

The Strange Strategy of God

By Susan Eapen, Bangalore


My Journey- Part 3

I was ready to go, but I was afraid as I knew nothing about Orthodox faith and customs. Though I lived near the church and could hear the church bells, no one there knew me as I went very rarely.

At three in the afternoon my husband came home and I told him of my decision. He told me that he would take me to the Library and to my mother's flat instead. It was a great temptation, and for a moment I wavered. Then I opened the Bible I was holding and it opened at today's reading- The Parable of the Wedding Feast. A kind of fear entered my heart and I turned the pages again. Now it was the cursed fig that came up. I knew this was my last chance and I said. "No I am going for confession". I got ready in a hurry and rushed out. It was a five minutes walk and it took me 20 years to reach there. Half way through, I prayed, "You know Lord, I am doing what I must do. I know nothing about these things, you must take charge from here".

Here I will digress a little. One esteemed father had quoted a story about a Presbytera using the Bible in a similar manner. But I beg to disagree with his conclusion. Without the knowledge of the Father, not even a sparrow falls. If that were so, would it not be true for me also? Would a page turn in the Bible, would a verse ring a chord in my heart, without His knowledge? I had not even opened the Bible seeking an answer, I had had it in my hand and in pain and confusion I opened it as was my habit, for comfort.

I took the parable as an invitation from God to partake in His Life through the Holy Eucharist.

Was it wrong? You should ask the priests who helped me from there if it was wrong. Ask them, and they would say how it transformed me.

Source: ICON

My Journey by Susan Eapen: Next | Introduction | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

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