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by Rev. Fr. V.V. Paulose, Toronto, Canada
"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God ." (Luke 18:16)
Are you struggling to deal with death?
Handling the death of a loved one is one of the most difficult challenges of
human beings on earth. Death always leaves its mark on the most soft tissues of
the heart of any individual. Time may reduce the intensity of pain for the time
being but it may raise its head again bringing more pain when the subconscious
mind pricks when you are silenced, cornered or left alone. God only can wipe the
tears permanently. Kids are the angels send by God to mitigate the pain of
departure. According to St. Paul, "For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if
we die, we die to the Lord" (Romans 14:8). The company of kids balm the pain and
sorrows in the time of death. David said that the kids were the gift and
heritage of human beings from God. Mourning is not only the sole responsibility
of adults but also the children.
How did grandkids aged 3, 5, and 8 share the responsibility of mourning when
their great-grandfather Zayden had died. The first obstacle was to tell the
kids. When that was done, the 3 year old looked back at his mother with serious
eyes for a few second, then burst out laughing and said, "Died means that you
can't play with toys and you do not live in a house anymore." The 8 year old, at
first pensive, soon exclaimed, "Now we get to go to (New York) grandparents'
house. It's family, grandparents, aunts, and cousins. Our job is to cheer them
up." They willingly shouldered the responsibility. The 5 year old accepted death
with calmness. "Why do people die? She wanted to know. Mother told her that the
world was not big enough for everyone to live forever. If they did, then there
would be no room for new babies. Then she asked if she could put a picture of
herself in the coffin. A prayer meeting was held in the house after the funeral.
The 3 year old daughter asked, "Why pray for Zayden?" The leader of the prayer
said, "We pray for the soul of the deceased but we also pray for those who are
in mourning to be comforted."
Don't discount the role of kids in mourning. We are all connected with the same
spirit. They can handle it better than grown-ups in. So don't stop them from
mourning.
"All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others" (2 Corinthians 1:3.). Lord comfort all those who are in bereavement. Let us all have the mind to comfort others who are in sorrow. All we ask in the name of Jesus.
Amen.
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