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by Rev. Fr. V.V. Paulose, Toronto, Canada
"I will give half of my property to the poor. And I will now pay back four times as much to everyone I have ever cheated." (Luke 19:8)
Do you think a mere 'sorry' will heal wounds?
Without really feeling guilty, people say sorry after hurting and breaking
others' hearts. When this happens, nobody is happy because the people concerned
know that it was not genuinely meant. Genuine apology and reconciliation come
only after re-compensating the damage in kind or in words. Apology is the first
step in the reconciliation process. Confession in front of a priest alone never
solves a problem. The culprit should be punished and they should be ready to
accept it. Before confessing to a priest, it is important to apologize and seek
pardon from the people you have hurt in words or deeds. Then come and do the
confession and get pardoned by God. "Leave your gift there in front of the
altar. Make peace with that person, then come back and offer your gift to God"
(Mathew 5:24).
Dr Cremer, a professor of behavioral business ethics in Netherlands, found
apologies regularly fail to live up to people’s expectations. Dr. Sara Aharon, a
Toronto psychologist specializing in trauma says, "After an apology, people are
looking for 'pure empathy' rather than an apology that has defensive qualities
to it for instance, ' I’m sorry, but….'"
David committed adultery with Bathsheba and killed her husband, Uriah. When he
was convinced of his heinous crimes, he went and wept in front of God. But God
told him, "Your family will never live in peace. Someone from your own family
will cause you a lot of trouble, and I will take your wives and give to another
man before your very eyes. He will go to bed with them while everyone looks on.
What you did was in secret, but I will do this in the open for everyone in
Israel to see" (2 Samuel 12:10-12). It happened exactly the way God told him,
starting with the death of his young son even though God had forgiven him.
We should not do any harm to anybody. If we do, don’t forget that punishment
will follow. And a mere sorry and a confession won’t solve the problem here on
earth and in Heaven.
Jesus. keep us away from sins. Let us be vigilant and accept the punishment that we deserve. Give us the strength to bear it. We pray for all those who have been hurt by others in some way or the other. All we ask in the name of Jesus.
Amen
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