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"When they were alone, He explained all things to
His disciples" Mark 4:34
Our Solitude with Him. Jesus doesn’t take us aside and explain things to us all
the time; He explains things to us as we are able to understand them. The lives
of others are examples for us, but God requires us to examine our own souls. It
is slow work— so slow that it takes God all of time and eternity to make a man
or woman conform to His purpose. We can only be used by God after we allow Him
to show us the deep, hidden areas of our own character. It is astounding how
ignorant we are about ourselves! We don’t even recognize the envy, laziness, or
pride within us when we see it. But Jesus will reveal to us everything we have
held within ourselves before His grace began to work. How many of us have
learned to look inwardly with courage?
We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves. That is always the
last bit of pride to go. The only One who understands us is God. The greatest
curse in our spiritual life is pride. If we have ever had a glimpse of what we
are like in the sight of God, we will never say, “Oh, I’m so unworthy.” We will
understand that this goes without saying. But as long as there is any doubt that
we are unworthy, God will continue to close us in until He gets us alone.
Whenever there is any element of pride or conceit remaining, Jesus can’t teach
us anything. He will allow us to experience heartbreak or the disappointment we
feel when our intellectual pride is wounded. He will reveal numerous misplaced
affections or desires— things over which we never thought He would have to get
us alone. Many things are shown to us, often without effect. But when God gets
us alone over them, they will be clear.
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